Her

People like to say that when you're young, you don't understand romantic love very well. I say that's wrong. The first time I fell in love I was about eight years old. She was everything that I wanted. She was funny, beautiful, and a good friend. I was always there for her, and she was always there for me. We did everything together, told eachother everything. I always thought that we were just best friends and that what I was feeling was just best friend or even sisterly love. You see I didn't know what I was feeling, becasue I thought that girls are only supposed to want to kiss boys. I thought I was being silly becasue girls are just friends. Whenever I would start to think about her in a wedding dress, I would always try to convince myself that I was just thinking about what it would be like to be there as her maid of honor. When in reality I was thinking about what it would be like to see her walk down the aisle to me. Whenever I would say that I love her to other people I always made sure to say "like a sister" afterwards. It seemed like an actual relationship to me. We held hands, we slept in the same bed together. We were always together, we shared food, drinks, games, secrets, thoughts, stories, hugs, tears, music. I was always comfortable around her. She was my person. As time continued I realized that it wasn't the healthiest friendship especially with the fact I was in love with her. I made some mistakes because I was young, stupid, in pain, and in love. As time has gone on we aren't really friends anymore. We still see each other in school and stuff, but i've never been able to tell her how I felt. How a part of me will always feel, because the truth is a little part of my heart will always love her. I think it's because that was my first love and it was so intense, innocent, real, heartbreaking, and life-changing. I hope that one day I can tell her and maybe get the kiss that i've always thought of.