He watched as she left (Part 1)

He watched, helpless, as the door closed behind her. He hoped that she would change her mind. That she would turn around; say she changed her mind. He fell to his knees and screamed. The love of his life had just walked out the door. He didn't understand why he couldn't just tell her about his secret. She loved him they could have worked through it together. But his pride overcame him. He was helpless. His brain had him trapped.

The first time he did it was when he was away on business. He was tired of jacking himself off. He needed a women's touch. A man's touch. Anybody's touch. That's what he went out to find. He loves his wife. He is madly in love with her but these urges are too much for him to handle. A dark night club was his destination. A young blonde makes eyes with him at the bar. Introductions are made and they head to his room. They have sex. Not love filled sex, just cold, hard sex. She puts on her clothes and leaves. He sits and thinks about his wife. What he should tell her? What he should do?

Sex addiction is a tough subject. Some people doubt its existence while others live through it every day. He attended meetings when he could find time but those never seemed to help. And he couldn't tell his wife. She would think he was a freak. She found out about this time when she contracted gonorrhea. She knew he had to have been with someone else. He told her all about the other woman. He couldn't explain to her why he did it. He just urged that it wasn't anything she had done. It wasn't her fault. She was beautiful and sexy.

Then the death of their child came. He couldn't touch her. He couldn't go near her. After 3 months passed he just thought it was him. He knew she took the miscarriage hard and so did he. But 3 months is a long time. It's time to move on. She wouldn't talk about it though. He needed human contact other than his own hand. She found him interlocked with another man and a woman on their living room floor. She wasn't supposed to be home yet. Her sister managed to get her out of the house for a spa weekend. She was home a day early.

She left the next day. Bags in hand, she turned to look at him one last time and then was gone. He had lost her forever. If only they had talked. Talked about the things that plagued their minds they would still be together. Still be in love working hard to better themselves. Better each other.