He watched as she left (Part 2)

As she stopped to take a breath she looked back; the hurt look on his face brought tears to her eyes. She has loved this man for years. So many years but how could she just brush this off? How could she stay? In the beginning, everything was perfect. He was the man of her dreams. Knight in shining armor and all that. After the first time, they tried to work through it. They went to counseling and things got a little bit better. Even though she could always tell he was holding something back. Something he denied when asked about it. Her trust slowly began building up again. Her faith in him almost tangible. So much time and effort to exerted on this relationship that seems so easy for him to throw away.

He swore to her that it wasn't anything she did. It wasn't her body. It wasn't her at all. He couldn't tell her why. He was ashamed of something. She thought it was all her fault. The sex was great. It has always been fun and adventurous until a few months ago. It stopped completely. It was a joyous day last May when her pregnancy test came up positive. They immediately began planning a nursey and picking up tiny onesies and booties. He began painting what used to be the guest room with blue skies and clouds. She began knitting a cozy blanket for the little one. 3 months in and they get the first ultrasound. It didn't really look like much to him but to her, it looked like her happiness in a tiny little ball. Her future and the love of her life.

One night she woke up with cramps. Not the normal mild cramps you get in the beginning. These were stabbing her in the gut. She threw her blanket off her to stand from her bed and the sheets were soaked with blood. She screamed hysterically. He wakes and sees the mess on the bed. He helps her change her clothes and then rushes her to the nearest hospital. Tests and ultrasounds were done to find a problem. Her worst nightmare had come true. Her baby was taken from her too soon. Her heart broke that day.

This was when the sex stopped and the cheating began again. She blamed herself because of how hard she took her child's death. She couldn't let him touch her like that. She wasn't ready for it. And she was so sorry for it. She didn't want to talk about it. She lay in bed with the curtains closed and hair a mess. Hadn't showered in days. She didn't even have the energy to eat. When she slept she relived the horrifying scene of that night. So, she lay in the dark with eyes wide open. Afraid of what she would see if she closed them.

The relationship died. Mainly because each person was afraid to speak of their true feelings. All communication was lost. Both ashamed of themselves. Ashamed of their own bodies. They couldn't speak a word of it to anyone. Not even themselves.