I really need to say this

Okay, so anyone who pays any attention to me most likely knows me for the interactives I've done, most involving stage magic, tickling, and sometimes some other general fetish stuff. Well as anyone who's a regular on the site probably knows, you can edit them all you want for free, but creating a new interactive requires a basic membership. Thing is, I've never once paid for said membership. Pretty much from the beginning, all my memberships have come from an anonymous yearly gift, I'm assuming from the same person for most, if not all of them based on the attached messages.

Am I thankful for this? Hell yes I am! The haunted house story I currently have up was originally done with a series of links to different stash pages on Deviantart and was a confusing pain in the ass until I could move it here.

But there is one problem with the situation. In the last couple years, I've barely written anything here or back on Deviantart. I personally think the reason is a combination of things, boiling down to rl distractions, a lack of ideas, and most of all, a growing lack of motivation. The more I do try to write, the more I notice a glaring lack of originality (not to mention godawful character dialogue, especially for tickling stories).

Usually when I visit the site nowadays, it'd just to do some general browsing. And that's where the problem lies. Earlier this month I received another basic membership. Someone is anonymously paying to keep my interactive priveleges on here and I'm not doing anything with it. Well, that's not entirely true. To be completely honest, I actually have created a few more interactives, but following some reviews pointing out some bad habits of mine, I kept them private until I could add enough chapters for a decent start. As you can probably guess, none of them made it that far, mostly due to the reasons I already listed above, and most were ultimately deleted. And yet I still keep recieving that gift, and more than anything, it's been making me feel guilty. I feel guilty that someone is confident enough in me to keep doing this, but I'm not using it for anything. So I just want to say, I'm sorry.

Like I said, I'm still extremely grateful that someone would do that for me in the first place, but I don't want you to keep spending money on me, especially when nothing is coming from it. I would have sent a message basically saying this earlier, but every gift and message were anonymous, meaning if I tried to reply, it'd just go to the site's support email.

I honestly don't know when, or if I'll ever have something new out again, I'll definately try, but that's basically what I've been doing for a couple years now. Like I said, I appreciate the thought, in fact I've been extremely grateful, but I couldn't let this keep happening if nothing was coming from it.

In short,
I'm sorry.