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(from an old, chinese folktale) |
Sawak was born into a noble family during the end of the Han dynasty in Luoyang in the Henan province under a cherry blossom tree. Her beauty was unsurpassed and even the Heavenly Rulers saw her and were humbled and, cried when Sawak cried and laughed when Sawak laughed. Unfortunately, her family sank into a state of insolvency due to an unexpected baisse in the rice market and they had to sell Sawak to the court brothel. There Sawak developed skills in satisfying men and she became highly sought after and only cared for the most prominent of male customers. Although she enjoyed the art of lovemaking, as a skillful fisherman enjoys a net full of fish, privately she preferred the company of women in her bed. With a woman it was not like fishing, it was like making flower arrangements. Somehow, on another level, you knew what was right, and when you knew how to do it, you created beauty. One day, an old prince from the north came to visit the royal family, and on a night off he decided to relax at the court brothel. There he found Sawak and fell in love like the old and unwise fool he was. He wanted her to follow him back to his castle and be his official concubine and only make love to him. The Emperor was hesitant. Everybody loved Sawak and he himself often visited her, but the old prince offered a lot of money and some political advantages in the north, and, in view of that, the Emperor had no choice but to give in. Sawak was horrified. The cold and damp north. With an old and ugly man with repulsive spots where no man should have spots and with a reputation of mistreating his women. With tears in her eyes she decided to run away. She packed a few of her clothes, sneaked out from the Palace grounds and headed south. The Emperor’s soldiers caught her two days later and she was presented to the tribunal to receive her sentence. “My dear Sawak”, the Emperor said, “My sympathies lies with you, but you have caused me much shame and discomfort. Because of your unmatched beauty and your skills as a working woman I will let you choose your own punishment from two possibilities. These men, sitting beside me, are the court wizards. You will either let them turn you into a frigid eunuch, remove all your sexual desires and let you live like a buddhist nun. Or, you can let them turn you into a man.” Sawak thought about the choice for a couple of seconds. Then she said: “O, Heavenly Emperor. I can not live a life without love, without the warmth from a body in arousal. I choose the second punishment, to become a man, and my only regret will be that I cannot serve You, my Emperor, like I once did.” “Very well,” the Emperor responded, “So be it. Wizards, do my bidding.” And in a moment, Sawak had become a man. In her mind, Sawak felt like she had cheated the Emperor. This was too easy. She began writing a list of women she would seduce, women who had been unavailable while she herself was a woman. If she made love to a new woman each night, and took mondays off, she had ten glorious years ahead of her. But already on the first night of her new life, Sawak discovered how skillful the court wizards had been. She had just bedded a young and cheeky princess from the east when she noticed that she knew what all men know about pleasing a woman; nothing. The young princess moaned and groaned, but Sawak recognized the sounds. She had used them herself, when she was together with men, to please them and make them feel good about themselves. She lost it that night, but the next day she thought to herself; “Sawak, you have been a woman for eighteen years. You just need a little practice and it will all come back to you.” But it didn't. That evening she tried a rich mans daughter from Hunan and, although the girl had a good time and a happy ending, it was so far from what was possible that it was almost like a parody. And the moaning and groaning and squirming was only a confirmation of Sawak’s inadequacy. And so it continued for a month until Sawak finally realised that, - just like a real man, - she would never learn how to truly please a woman. She also understood that she had made the wrong choice and that the Emperor, in his wisdom, had planned it all. |