Tochter

She sits on the frozen bench at the train station
Craning her neck to see further down the track,
For the train he is to be on.

The Canadian Prairie winter wind bites at her exposed ears,
Reminding her to pull on her hat packed in the suitcase
That holds the contents of her 12 year old life.

Her thoughts travel back to a time when life was warm,
Holding her there while she stares at the photo of her Mother
Taken before the labour of a sixth childbirth stole her.

Her mind lingers in the heat of that summer day sun
Beaming down on her parents and brothers, smiling and laughing
Outside of the only place she would call home.

She puts the photo away in the silky lined suitcase pocket
Tucking it in for safekeeping She knows,
The life she once had is gone forever.

The auburn fringe of her hair hangs below her knitted hat,
Framing her face as her hazel eyes strain
To see the train that whistles on approach.

This is the one. The 2:20. The train he is on.
Swinging her feet in anticipation for her Father’s arrival,
She hopes he remembers what she looks like.

She remembers him. Vater. The broad shouldered,
Towering man with the deep blue eyes and strong chin.
The two years surely would not have changed him.

She can see him entering the farmhouse door,
Filling the space with his presence.
His thin lips would smile at her, “Tochter”

Mutter would have his food on his plate
Waiting for him to sit at his spot at the table,
After a long day in the wheat fields.

The younger Bruder, full of energy,
Pestering the only sister they had to play with them.
She wouldn’t admit to secretly enjoying it then.

Mother would read to them all before bed as her
Expanding belly is used as a pillow for the youngest.
He would always fall asleep before the end.

She knew when she awoke to the familiar sound;
Crying from her Mother, and the voice of their Doctor
The new baby was on his way.

Her Father paced the floor while Mother laboured,
Speaking in Low German; the baby was breach,
This will be more difficult than the others.

As the new sun rose across the prairie home,
Shining a yellow-rose glow through the window
Her new baby brother was born; finally.

The blond bundle arrived to the tired parents
Bellowing to show the strength of his lungs
Mother cradles the newborn and Father looks on.

The eyes of Father glance up at her and she can see tears
Welling up on his usual strong and rigid face.
An overwhelming sense of dread fills her heart.

Father makes his way over to baby and Mother,
Kissing her forehead as the tears fall from his face.
Mother smiles weakly at him one last time.

Some said he was selfish when he gave his children to family,
Burdening them with more mouths to feed
While he went off to deal with his own demons

She has been here before; at the train station; on this bench,
Waiting for the man who promised they would
Be reunited one day as they once were.



The passengers flood the platform and her eyes are
Searching for the man she called Vater
The crowd thins and her heart sinks.

She hangs her head to wipe her tear filled eyes,
Grasping her suitcase to take her leave,
She feels the expanse of his hand on her narrow shoulder.

“‘Tochter”