How to renovate your home

Yes. You are right. It definitely needs a rearrangement. Maybe, even better, go for the total renovation.

You make all the necessary calculations through Excel and conclude that it is possible. Your money is enough for all those things you want to change and insert including making a big sleeping room from two little ones and inserting a bigger kitchen cabinet. In addition, time is suitable - if they begin now or even the next month, September, then until January they should finish. That means that there is no reason why you wouldn't be able to invite all your friends to your birthday in your "new" home.

You just have to find a contractor who will agree to the price and the duration and begin to work.

***

It was easy. Everything you asked, he knows to do. The price and the schedule are both as you wanted. What’s more, he has the name of one of the best in the market. So let him begin to work.

***

At 5:02 a.m., some noise awakes you.

You look through the window and see a big lorry under your window and five workers throw different equipment on the street. You run to the door and ask them to do it quieter. But they don't hear you.

***

At 12:01 p.m. the contractor comes. All the workers rise to greet him, not leaving beer cans from their hands. The contractor comes in, measures two walls, pokes around the house, says 'hum' a few times, and winks at you.

***

At 12:03 p.m., they all leave until tomorrow.

***

The next day, at 5:02 a.m. you are on your feet, because your bed is outside the room and the workers begin to take the floor out.

***

Two months later, after autumn rains stop and the first snow covers the pile of floor tiles in the yard, the workers come and take out the rest of the floor in your room.

***

In January, you are still sleeping in the corridor - the only place with a floor.

***

In June, the workers put your bed back into the room and open a pack of beers to celebrate the quick finish of the work in this room.

Next day they take the bed out and again take out some flooring.

A week later, they return everything back, after the electricity cables are put in place. Now you can have light in the room.

***

In October, the contractor comes to your room as usual without knocking:

"You know, the piping is rusty."

"What piping?"

"The water supply."

"Why did you put in rusty piping?" You ask the contractor.

"It is not mine. It was here."

"Then why did you not change it?"

"You did not say."

"What?" Now you really feel very anxious to understand what the contractor means.

"You did not say."

"We agreed that you would change everything."

"Yes, but we did not speak about the piping."

After two minutes of beetle browed sighting each other, you ask silently:

"And how much will it cost to change that?"

"If you'd say it in time, before I put the flooring…"

"When did you put the flooring?"

"Tomorrow."

"Then you did not put it yet!"

"For me it is as if I already have put." Not a sign of smile softens the contractor's serious face.

"Why? Are you on drugs?"

"Yes, as the matter of fact. And since you already mentioned it, would you like a joint too?"

"Please, return to the matter in hand."

After a long glance on his hands:

"I don't understand you."

"Well, how much it will cost NOW?"

"I dunno. I have to think. I will say you tomorrow."

"Wait. Are you going home now?"

"Yes. What the problem?"

"But you have just come ten minutes ago!" You feel you reach your boiling point but try to cool yourself by breathing quicker.

"So? Sometimes I don't feel like working. As today."

"And tomorrow?"

"I will know that tomorrow, will I not?"

***

Three months later.

"Well, maybe tomorrow I will feel like working."

***

You go to celebrate your birthday at your parents' home.

***

Sometime later (August), they succeed to finish the job.

***

In October, they REALLY finish the job.

***

Two years later, you finish paying for the renovation.

Then, as you are married now, you decide to change home to some bigger one. You cannot buy a new, so you go for a second-hand house. You find a good one and rather cheap.

The only drawback, that it needs a renovation...