To A Child That Never Was

Before you there I was in a place of my own
I was alone but I was not lonely
and I ate and slept on a schedule I enjoyed

Then there was the promise of you and
I tripped over my anxiety to get to where
you would be and couldn't wait to wait

We should have been wise to know
we didn't stand a chance
and you passed in a night and sent me a storm

You would have been clever and hot tempered
a marvel of motion, bouncing off the walls
stuffing chubby little cheeks with whatever and whatever

Yet here I am and here I stay without the Fortress of Solitude
unable to defy the gravity of clinging need
and barely competent manipulations

How I could have raised you