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These are editorial notes for my novel Lack of Evidence |
Ch1 Note: I changed details to back off from the idea of PI as detective. Although both John and Julie have completed Academy training, they're not a part of the police force. Period. They operate on a consulting basis with the police on occasion and sometimes their cases make interaction with police necessary. Other chapters need to be revised for this reason. Ch2 crime scene details Caleb Miller on the scene Office at station - across from Ray pawn & gentleman's bar Clerk @ gas station & penny candy thief Mel'd Donut Shop reference Eric - people pleasing noser Hans - pushy smoking carrot top Turner - rookie hothead Natts - unknown, calls forensics Michael detail - 3 bullet holes, first 1 sniperstyle Front door no prints VCR missing Tyler hired by Sam Congregation at 5th & Carlson Carlos Matt - Caleb's liutenant Computer fingerprint analysis Raisa Marlowe - prints at Michael's Common Grounds - Raisa workplace Judge Griffin - signing warrant for Raisa's house Caleb Miller will not be issuing arrest warrant until DNA evidence is processed. Ch3 synagogue Jeff = PI's bro Tyler is against Sam hiding Julie going w/ Sam to usf Tyler calls pi a sleazeball Raisa interview w carlos & john Raisa walks by Michaels to/from work Raisa ends interview Ch4 - USF - HORRIBLE, JUST HORRIBLE (2 pages) Julie and Sam enter USF Medical Lab South Corridor, into bodies room, into another corridor with 2nd door. Ch5 - crime scene Answering Machine w/messages Rundown on Raisa interview John says Raisa is innocent Daniel Carlson - neighbor gardening across from MIchael's He says Raisa was shouting with Michael Carlos and pi going back to Raisa with warrant Frank - assigned case to PI - FIX to conform with ch1 edits. Julie says Sam is innocent Michael got call from PD, unknown office Michael got call from Reginald Larsen's missing cellphone. pt 2 - raisa interview - Add dominance/submissive dynamic between PI and Carlos: "Let me handle this." "Stay back." "This isn't your call." Carlos declared a rookie when he pulls cuffs Raisa makes no move to call lawyer John prevents Carlos from patdown Julie reveals prints found at scene to Raisa John reveals belief of innocence to Raisa Carlos reveals inconsistencies in Raisa's story Julie declares "you killed him" Raisa confesses she was in the house Carlos asks about stolen merchandise Raisa bolts, Raisa pulls hidden gun John yells at Raisa, Julie shoots at Raisa Carlos and John subdue Raisa Warrant issued, Raisa calls lawyer, in Portuguese, her uncle The VCR and other things confiscated jars of mysterious substance found -- seriously, what is this crap? I've lost sight of it. Raisa says it is art paint; Raisa caught lying about art Cocaine in baggies found. pt 3- library - MORE HORRIBLENESS John looks at Judaism for motive for murder Jewish-dressed man in LA tshirt drops note Envelope stamped LA Note script Limited Abundance |