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Constant thoughts of myself. |
You stare into the mirror everyday looking at your reflection wondering what else could you change about yourself. You don't really like yourself but you pretend to be the greatest person although you know deep down that is the complete opposite. You try changing your looks and even your personality, the way you dress, act, talk, etc. You try changing it. You hate yourself. You hate everything you do You hate all the mistakes you've made . You hate yourself for not caring for things . The past haunts you everyday, not a single day passes by without a thought popping up in your mind. You think the monsters are gone? Ha silly girl , they might be gone from your life but not your memory. They linger everywhere making you fear everytime you go out. You can't pay attention to a single thing , constantly zoning out, not eating, not taking care of yourself...have you given up? Envy runs through you watching people succeed while you can't even do something right for once in your life. You hate yourself. You're angry at yourself wondering why you're like this. Constantly mad everyday or upset at the most simplest things. You've lost interest in things, not excited as you were in things you once were intrested in. Whatever happens, happens.. am I right? Give up already, it won't make a difference, but something keeps making you want to keep going on to make yourself better even though you always have a negative outlook on things. Things are going great but you're not happy all because of yourself. You hope one day you'll stop hating yourself and maybe that day will happen. |