this isn't home.

this isn't home.

at the end of the day
i never go home.
i go to a house
with a roof and a bed,
food to eat,
a place to sleep,
where I legally reside,
but this isn’t home.

home feels safe.
like everything’s okay.
i was there one day,
then it went away.

i got scared,
i got lost,
home became a dream
of somewhere i’d rather be,
but not where i was.

today, i went ‘home’
but this isn’t home.
home is a dream,
home is safe
home is happy
home is safe
home is not alone
home is with people who care
home
home is safe

this isn’t home.
this is fear.
this is sad.
this is wanting to die.
this is getting hurt.
this is getting used
this is either being alone,
or wishing i was.
this isn’t home.
- i hope you’ve found your home. i’m still searching most days.
(4.17.2018)