Mr Cuddles

Many people in your world when buying a gift for a new born child, opt to buy a stuffed toy; such as a bear or rabbit. I myself collect them and still have the bear I was given at birth. However, what if we lived in a world where humans were not the dominant race but the stuffed toys that we all love so much? Many would believe that it would be a wonderful, laid back world; full of fun, tea parties and games. The world of Elgarf is an example of a civilisation run by ‘plushies’ and boy, is it different to your expectation.

In Elgarf, the world is run by the aforementioned teddies; known as the Nugurumi. Despite their ridiculous cuteness, the Nugurumi are ruthless. The number of humans has dwindled since the Third Great Plushie War and the ones that are left, are kept on human farms. I am Prisoner 703 and I am the oldest prisoner still left alive. I have shown myself to be useful to the Nugurumi as I am a dab hand at sewing and prove useful as a medic on the battlefield. Also, I am so old that I would taste horrible if they ate me; so bad they wouldn’t even feed me to their pet humans. But how did it get this way, how did the Nugurumi take over the world? Well, that was down to the work of one human; Dr Fritz.

Fritz was an established Elgarf scientist and was known worldwide as a genius. But, as is the case with some geniuses, Fritz was bloody crazy. I had worked with him for a while when I was an intern at his lab. We got on okay but he was slightly unapproachable; partly because of his greatness and partly due to the massive chamber he locked himself in so he could work; permanently. As I said before, he was certifiably crazy. But, he had perfected various scientific feats that many had thought impossible so, he was given the benefit of the doubt.

Fritz turned his attention to the one luxury he had in his closed-off home; a small teddy bear given to him by his mother when he was but a child. He wondered if what he was lacking was companionship but the thought of spending time with other humans truly sickened him. They wouldn’t understand him anyway. So, he started work on his opus. Within a single month, he created a booth that could animate stuffed toys. He quickly animated his bear; called Mr Cuddles. Unfortunately for Fritz and the human race; Mr Cuddles was a right bastard.
He quickly threatened Fritz into increasing the number of plushies and established a group called the Nugurumi. They were overlooked as a novelty at first but that was until they had no more use for Fritz and the Professor was disposed of by the Nugurumi. Mr Cuddles thanked him for his service before eating his breakfast of a Fried Toe Sandwich. He enjoyed it so much, that it upset him that he could only have it nine more times. This was when Mr Cuddles realised; there was prime meat all around him and that he had the manpower to grasp control.

Despite their appearance, the Nugurumi were incredibly suited for combat. This is because, they do not have hearts therefore cannot be killed. They can be torn apart, sure but not killed. Mr Cuddles quickly searched for humans willing to help. When that didn’t work, kidnap and torture did. Well, it made me join. I quickly became Mr Cuddles right hand human; his pet if you were. I was indispensable to the army due to my superb sewing skills. The Nugurumi wore down the humans before truce was called. That lasted four days before the Nugurumi struck again. The war lasted another 17 months before another truce. That lasted a whopping eight days before the third war began. The clincher. The Third Great Plushie War lasted a mere three weeks and Mr Cuddles had become the leader of the world. He quickly established human farms where they were bred and fattened up; in preparation for eating. He found that the little girls tasted sweeter than the boys but when the boys became men, they had a meatier taste than the women. Farms were separated, and people segregated on their age, gender and breeding potential. As an old geezer, I escaped this fate.

So that brings us to now. The plushie’s rule us and have shown themselves to be smarter, more resilient and stronger than humans. I would like to say that the humans will fight back but as I am sitting next to Mr Cuddles, I’d rather not. I fancy living a few more years; even if it means eating some more of my old friends.