Girlfriend with Testing Device 1

Author's Note: This is part one of my smutty little romantic comedy series that I've written as a sort of spiritual successor to Steamrolled's amazing "Girlfriend With..." comics, which are themselves the evolution of all the swap-themed interactive stories that are so popular on this site. I've got more on my DeviantArt, but I figured it was time to branch out and start uploading the thing to some other sites as well so I can better share it with the world. Look forward to more in the weeks ahead!

Please leave a comment! I love hearing from readers! If you’d like to see more of my work, please come check out me out at https://razmagurk.deviantart.com/ or https://www.patreon.com/razmagurk .

Thank you for reading! Enjoy!


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This story is rated R and features a healthy dose of Slutty Cheerleaders and Football Players, Body Part Swaps, Genderbending, Voluntary Sexual Re-orientation, Reality Alteration, Reality Blindness and Obliviousness, Big Jiggly Boobs, Slutty Clothing, and Romance. And probably some other stuff? It's a little weird and crazy. You've been warned.

== Girlfriend with Testing Device ==

- A Smutty Fanfiction, of Sorts -

= Part 1 - Reality Blind Boyfriend =

By Razmagurk

The bar was surprisingly busy for a Thursday night. I walked in to see what had to be half the college football team cheering and hollering as a handful of their number did body shots off a pack of cheerleaders. Definitely some kind of team building exercise. It was a fair bit wilder than I was expecting to see, but they seemed to be buying lots of drinks, so I guess it wasn't a problem.

I almost did a double take as one of the cheerleader's tops came off entirely, her rock-hard pecs and 8-pack abs exposed for all the see. Another cheer went up from the crowd as the team drank the image in. Judging by the sizable bulge in her pants, she was enjoying the attention. I suspected it may not have been as accidental as she was trying to make it look. This is why I don't normally go to the bars near campus. Too many big-titted Chads and hard-bodied Stacies desperate to squander their youth horny and wasted.

"Evan!" I heard a voice yell.

I pulled my head away from the party to scan the crowd, looking for the reason I was here. Besides the drunken orgy waiting to happen, it was the kind of crowd you'd expect to see in a college bar on a Thursday night, a lot of 20-somethings looking for a memorable evening. There were only really two people who didn't quite belong - a scrawny professor in a heavy metal shirt and tats, who was probably only here to desperately try to seem young and hip, and a freshman in the other corner adjusting his suede jacket and trying very hard to seem the opposite.

"Evan!" I heard the voice again. This time she was waving.

Off in the back, away from the crowd, was my girlfriend Ellen. Ellen and I had been dating for a few years now and had plans to get engaged after graduation. I couldn't begin to properly express my love for her. We were both about as close as two people could be and still very much in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. She had called me up rather suddenly about half an hour ago and told me to meet her here. She said she had something to show me that she claimed I literally had to see in person to believe.

She was sitting at a table in one of the back corners, away from the crowds, nursing what looked like it was not her first beer. She didn't have any classes on tomorrow or anything, but it was still unusual for her to drink a lot on a Thursday. From the way she was glancing around I could tell that she was self conscious about something.

I smiled at her and started to walk over. "There's something different about you." I said. She normally only got unsure about herself like this when she was trying out a new look. I couldn't tell quite what it was, but I wanted to be supportive.

"Wait, what?" she stammered back as her eyes went wide. Uh-oh, maybe its something that I'm not supposed to notice. Ironic. If that was the case it was succeeding.

"Its true," I said, "You get more beautiful every time I see you." I figured this was a safe enough answer. I'm one of those hopeless romantic types, so I like to really lay it on thick. It's one of my few charms.

"Wait... are you... Can you actually tell there's something different about me, or are you just being cute? How specifically am I more beautiful?"

Crap, I'd dug myself into a trap. The truth of the matter is that Ellen was objectively quite plain. She wasn't unattractive, she just lacked those features that make a girl stand out. She's the sort of person who's always wanted to look good, but just had higher priorities, or who was more cute than beautiful. Of course, she was perfect in my eyes, but that was little comfort to her.

I quickly eyed her up to see if she'd done anything differently, but she looks pretty normal to me. Her strawberry blonde hair fell to the mid of her back in long languid waves, perfectly framing the glowing skin of her cover-girl face and the precisely applied sultriness of her evening makeup. Her top was a button-down made of some semi-sheer material, knotted up underneath to compliment her hourglass figure, tight belly, and enormous tits. My eyes lingered on her bosom as I made my appraisal of her. They were inconveniently large and she had enough of her buttons undone to show off a prodigious amount of flesh. If she was wearing a bra, which I doubted, it was a miracle of modern engineering. She probably had more going on up top than anyone else in the bar right now, but that was perfectly normal.

I couldn't see under the table. Was she wearing new shoes? I hazarded a glance. No, I recognized both the 6-inch black fuck-me boots arcing up her long and shapely legs and the pleated tartan micro-skirt. I could see that she wasn't wearing panties, but that wasn't unusual for her. The scent of cherries, booze, and sex wafting across the table told me she wasn't even wearing new perfume.

I honestly couldn't tell what she was doing differently. Was she wearing new glasses? No, she didn't wear glasses. Why would I think that? I looked deeply into her dark hazel eyes, but she wouldn't meet my gaze.

"Your eyes." I said.

"W-What?"

"They're glowing." I smiled "But then, so is the rest of you."

She laughed in that way I loved, and, having confirmed that I was indeed full of shit, she relaxed back in her seat.

"Wrong, cheeseball. But thanks."

"Okay, I give up." I also leaned back in my seat. "You changed something though, right?"

"That's..." she paused and chewed on her words, unsure quite how to answer. "That's kind of a big question right now."

"How do you mean?"

She reached into her little designer handbag and slowly, almost reverently, pulled out a strange bluish-green device. It was roughly box-shaped with a number of little controls on each face and a little antenna sticking out the top.

"Today, I was given this."

She set the box on the table as though its presence explained everything.

"And it is?" I prompted.

"See, that's the part you're not going to believe."

She inhaled deeply before continuing, trying to choose her words with the utmost care. It was clear she didn't quite believe it herself.

"It swaps things." She said, simply.

"It swamps things?"

"It swaps things."

She could tell by my expression that this was going over my head.

"Look." She said, gesturing over to the college party currently underway in the background, as if by way of example. As I looked over, several of the football players were competing to see who could chug a beer the fastest. Most of it was spilling down their chins and soaking through their tight little shirts, which had begun to cling diaphanously to their bouncing tits.

"It swaps things how?" I pressed.

"Like, magic."

I blinked incredulously.

"In so far as I've been able to tell, it swaps people's body parts around. Other stuff too, I think. I'm still experimenting with it, so I don't know how far it goes. Then it makes it so that only the person holding it realizes anything has changed. I'm guessing that's probably why you don't see anything out of place right now. Let's just say I've been having some fun with it."

I laughed.

"I'm serious!" she quavered. "Look, this is something important. Getting this device is... it's a complete life-changer! And you're an important part of my life and I want to share it with you."

She was right, I didn't believe her. I didn't know what she was up to, but I could tell that whatever it was, it meant something to her. I decided to play along.

"Okay," I said slowly, "so, someone just gave you a magic box that lets you change people around?"

"Swap people around, yes. Kind of. They said they were from some kind of company and that they were alpha-testing a new technology. They said I'd been picked from a long list of potential candidates and that they needed to test how the system handled in the wild. I guess they want to make sure it won't snap under the load of typical use or something? Or that it works at all? I don't know. They made me sign some forms that I'm starting to wish I'd read..."

"I thought you said it was magic?"

"No, I said its like magic. Look, haven't you ever wanted to change who you are? To change something about your body? To make yourself better?"

"I'm actually pretty happy with who I am, baby. And so should you. You're perfect."

"Yeah," she said, glancing down, "now I am."

"Huh?"

"Never mind." She said, shaking her head. "Look, there must be something about yourself that you want to change. Don't you guys all dream about having the biggest baddest dick around, or whatever?"

"Whoa, hey, What's wrong with my cock?" I laughed defensively. Sure, my cock wasn't giant, but it was enough above average that I was actually rather pleased with it.

"Nothing! Baby, believe me I love your dick too, but come on, aren't you curious how you'd look with something even bigger?"

I had no idea where she was going with this, but we were close enough that I wasn't offended. Frankly, I've always suspected she was a bit of a size queen, even if she would never admit it to herself. I was starting to half suspect this was some kind of weird sex game. I'm not one to turn down sex when offered, even the weird stuff, so I figured it would be best to play along.

"Okay, fine." I said, looking around. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well I'd overheard Elizabeth saying that the bartender over there just so happens to be hung like a horse."

She gestured with her eyes and I turned my head to follow. The bartender was a handsome looking man in his early thirties. He had a rugged, athletic build and it came as no surprise that Ellen's friend Elizabeth had set her sights on him. Hell, he probably got hit on by half the girls to pass through here. I tried to sneak a glance at his pants, but before I could get a good view he turned around and left for the back room.

"Alright." I said. "When the bartender comes back out, you can swap our junk."

"Deal." she laughed. Whatever game was afoot, she was glad I was playing.

I looked at the strange device in her hands. It was a bluish-green metal box, about a handsbreath on the side and made of a cheaply spray-painted aluminum. Along one face was a series of small colored buttons surrounding a large black button, on another side was a pair of simple radio dials, and on the top was a small antenna with a wire coiled around it. It looked kind of like someone had tried to cobble together a remote control having never seen one before and having none of the correct parts. I half wanted to reach out and touch it, but it kind of looked like it would shock me if I did.

Ellen's sudden laughter snapped me back to attention.

As it turned out, the bartender who emerged was a very different one than the one who had gone in. This one, for starters, was decidedly female, and between the amount of cleavage she was putting on display and the oh-so-short shortness of her tight little short-shorts, it was apparent she was dressed for tips. She must have realized that the presence of the cheerleaders was going to make her job difficult, and decided to get out the big guns, so to speak.

"Okay, that doesn't count" I said jokingly.

"What," Ellen laughed as she started to play with one of the box's dials, "you don't wonder what it would be like to swap junk with that little cutie?"

Dramatically, she pressed the big button.  I half expected the world to lurch or the thing to explode or something, but all I noticed was a faint zzzzttttt sound in the back of my head.  Half disappointed, half relieved, I turned my attention to the bartender once more and gave her junk an appraising look.

"Oh, god, could you imagine?" I laughed as I stared at the giant bulge in the girls little orange shorts. "Me with a giant dick like that?"

A look of confusion washed over Ellen's face, followed shortly by a scowl of annoyance. She began to twist the dials on the box in frustration. Evidently, she had been expecting something to happen.

"I mean, don't get me wrong," I continued. "I'm not sexist or anything. There's nothing wrong with having a dick - Hell, a big sexy one like that, I'm sure she gets all kinds of tips, especially with the way she really puts it on display - but me having a cock? I'd probably end up tripping over it or sitting on it half the time. I don't know how people deal with them." I jokingly grabbed my crotch for emphasis. "I'll take my smooth little puss any day."

At this Ellen was trying very hard not to laugh. One of the things that I really loved about Ellen was that I could call another girl's dick sexy in front of her without her getting mad. She knew - through extensive personal experience - that I only had eyes for her and that I was merely speaking objectively.

"Besides," I went on. "You're not a lesbian. If I had her dick, sex would get real awkward between the two of us. I mean, it would keep getting in the way of the strap-on, for one. I guess you could still fuck me up the ass with it, but we both know I'm not ready for that."

What remained of Ellen's composure broke, sending her into a laughing fit.

I smiled while she laughed it out. I didn't really think it was as funny as all that, but I was happy to have made her happy.

"Sorry that's... actually really interesting, but back up a minute. So, you're saying," she said as she recovered, "that you think her dick is sexy?"

"I'm just saying that its an attractive feature. With a huge dick like that, she probably gets all the hot guys."

"But not you?" she said, raising an eyebrow flirtatiously

Holding the little box up to her she once again dramatically pressed the big button. Once again there was nothing more climactic than that faint, almost imperceptible zzzzttttt sound. Was that even coming from the box?

"No, baby," I answered, paying her theatrics no mind. "I'm all yours. Besides, her pussy could never compete with your dick." It was true, as plain as Ellen was, she was surprisingly wild in bed, and I knew from experience that her dick was perfect in every way - truly out of this world.

As I said this Ellen began squirming in her seat.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Oh, this is... different."

"What is?"

"Um, its nothing. Never mind, I guess." She was clearly quite distracted. "I just suddenly wish I was wearing panties."

"Oh?"I laughed "Is all this sexy talk starting to get my girl all worked up?" I leaned in and flashed her one of my flirtatious smiles. Truth be told, I was starting to get a little wet myself.

"N-no. Its just... distracting."

"What is?" I said, inching closer.

"Th-This stupid dick" she said blushing

"Baby, I think your cock is amazing. If you think its distracting now, just think of all the fun things I'm going to do with it when we get home." I said, teasingly.

Her blush grew three shades as she ran the mental numbers. She shook her head, but clearly failed to clear the fog.

"Gah, this is so frustrating." she said, quickly trying to change the subject. "What's the point of having this device if I can't share it with you?"

"You can share anything with me, you know that. " I said, taking her hand into my own.

"No, I clearly can't." She sighed. "You were supposed to realize what was happening there. I thought you'd find it funny, and instead you seem to be enjoying it a little too much."

"Enjoying what?"

"Hold on, wait... maybe you have to be touching it?"

Delicately, she slid the device into the center of the table and beckoned for me to touch it. Slowly, as though I was afraid it was going to bite, I put my hands over hers and onto the device. It was warm to the touch, but I couldn't tell if that was because it was producing its own heat or because Ellen had been handling it.

"Is something supposed to happen?"

She locked her big brown eyes on me and stared deeply into my soul.

"Okay - for real." she said "if you could swap bodies with anyone else here, who would it be?"

"Honestly baby, I'm actually pretty happy with my body. Its not amazing or anything, but I don't hate it."

"Yeah, but if you could make it amazing?"

The truth was, I was hardly a catch. I tried to exercise when I could and I did my best to make myself look presentable, but much like Ellen I lacked the features that made me stand apart from the crowd. I wasn't so muscular as to be muscular, nor so skinny as to be skinny, I was just kind of average. Maybe this was all her way of trying to get me to exercise more?

"I guess it would be kind of cool to have a more athletic body." I confessed "Maybe like one of those football guys? I mean, it would be nice to be sexier for you, you know?"

"Aww... baby, that's so sweet." I could see the genuity of her smile. "You're plenty sexy to me. But my baby deserves the best body he can get and that's what I'm going to give him. I just hope this works and that you realize what's happening."

Again she fiddled with the nobs, this time aiming the box in the direction of the party still raging in the background. She made sure that we were both clutching the device, and then she pressed the button.

This time I could feel the zzzzttttt in my teeth and then... I would describe it as being like falling backwards into water, or going up a high-speed elevator and feeling the sudden change in pressure, but both of those analogies fail to capture how sudden the change was. One moment I was myself, and the next I wasn't.

I could tell immediately that something was different. I was cold, for starters, a chill was running through my whole body - my new body. I could tell that everything was different in a million subtle little ways. I had new nerves, new body chemistry, new organs, bigger lungs, a new heartbeat, and they all felt strange and unusual. Familiar, sure, but unusual. Clearly, it was going to take some getting used to.

I exhaled. I hadn't even realized I was holding my breath.

I looked down at my new body and couldn't help but laugh. It was a heartier laugh, deeper, from different, stronger lungs. I wasn't wearing a shirt - which explained why I was so cold - and I could see every inch of my new body bristling with dense muscles. My chest was smooth and hairless, prom my enormous pecs to my rock-hard abs. I flexed my arms and could feel the strength and power contained within. Was this what it was like to be in shape? Every breath I took felt confident and powerful, like I was a wellspring of energy just waiting to pounce.

I was completely shocked. My brain refused to process what was happening as real. It wasn't until the competing smells of locker room body-spray and cheep booze assaulted my nose that I realized this was not a trick of the light or temporary hallucination. Worse, I could feel the unfamiliar body chemistry seeping its way into my brain. This new body was half-wasted and very horny. I wiggled awkwardly in my chair as I suddenly realized that I had something very large and very eager fighting for space in my pants.

"Holy crap!" My widening eyes caught Ellen's. "It worked."

"I'll say." She shot back, vindicated. "Damn, look at you."

I gave a nervous laugh as I tried to readjust my seat. I had grown probably half a foot and was not used to having the longer legs.

Between the sudden lack of sobriety and the profound reality-shattering nature of the device, I was at a legitimate loss for words. I opened my mouth to ask the obvious question, then decided against it and let out a laugh.

"Baby," Ellen said, a mad glint in her eye, "think about all we can do with this thing. Think of the implications! Think of the potential! With this we could do things I can't even begin to imagine."

"I'll say! Its... I can't even believe this is really happening. But, I mean, look at me - you turned me into a cheerleader."

"A cheerleader?" The look of excitement on her face suddenly fell.

"Yeah," I made the pom-pom shaking motions "look, this is totally a cheerleader's body." I gestured downwards. "My navel's even still wet and sticky from when the footballers were doing body shots earlier. Ew."

"Oh." A look of realization slowly dawned across her face. "Oh my god, you would totally see that as a cheerleader's body, wouldn't you?" She burst out laughing. I smiled, but was unsure what else I would see it as.

"Like, oh my god," I joked in my best faux-bimbo voice. "Let's get wasted and talk about clothes and makeup and then let's go sleep with all the boys!"

She was laughing so hard she almost fell out of her seat.

"Okay, okay." She said, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes "You don't like it?"

"Well, no offense, I'm sure it has its perks, but I'd rather be in a guy's body, you know?"

"Well let's go find you a real body then." She eyed the crowd. "Just point out which body you want and its yours"

I once again looked over at the crowd of drunken athletes. I'm not going to say that all football players look the same, but my choice in this matter tended towards certain broad similarities. I sized each of them up, trying to get a feel for which one Ellen would find the most attractive.

"Okay," I said, finally deciding, "do you see that one hitting on the bartender?"

I couldn't quite identify the smile on Ellen's face. It was half way between incredulity and knowing something that I didn't.

"The one with the huge tits?" She said, looking over and grinning.

Leave it to a woman to go straight to ogling a guy's chest.

"Hey, those'll be my huge tits soon enough." I countered "Do you know how hard you have to work to get a chest like that?"

"Something tells me he didn't put as much work into it as you think." She sniggered "Baby are you sure that's the body you want? I mean those tits are almost as big as mine, and that skirt he's wearing doesn't really leave much to the imagination. Look, you can totally see his thong."

"You don't like it? I mean, look around. Of all the football players here, he's clearly got the best body. Not that I'm a great judge of it or anything, but just look at the way his butt fills out that skirt. Besides, based on the way the cheerleaders were fawning over him earlier, I bet he's got something great going on downstairs, and the sooner I get rid of this yappy little dog in my pants the better. I don't know how you put up with these things."

She laughed again. "Okay," She said, "he certainly does have the best body. Let's have some fun and give it a try. We can always change it back if it doesn't work out."

Once again, we both touched the strange little box. Her sparkling red nails adjusting the unlabelled controls. I realized I was clenching my teeth in anticipation, as though it was going to hurt. She angled the little antennae towards the bar. I closed my eyes as she pushed the big button.

The zzzzttttt sound shook through my head, heralding a cavalcade of new sensations - a new set of organs, a different skin, a smaller, faster heart. Annoyingly, I was still cold

I want to say that it was all those little things my mind was immediately drawn to after the transformation, as though noticing the subtler details was somehow classier, but the truth of the matter was that it was impossible for me to pay attention to anything other than the giant pair of breasts now occupying the lower half of my field of view. I thought they looked big from half way across the room, but seeing them - feeling them - up close and personal was another matter entirely, especially from this angle. I couldn't believe how perky and firm they were despite their size. I would have fallen forward from the weight of them had the table not been there to catch my fall. The thin fabric of my shirt was struggling to amplify my inevitably prodigious cleavage, and failed completely to hide my large, achingly erect nipples. The things bounced and jiggled at the slightest provocation.

"Oh my god." I gasped, breathlessly. This new body was even hornier than the last one, and probably a fair bit drunker too. For some reason that seemed only to fan the hot wet flame I now had going on between my legs.

Tearing my gaze from my new endowments, I was surprised to discover that I was shorter than Ellen. I figured that standing, and ignoring the fact that her fuck-me boots were an inch taller than my stilettos, I was probably now a head shorter than her. I realized the only reason I felt like I was sitting so high in my seat was that my butt was now a lot bigger, and my hips were angled in a completely different way. I rolled them slightly as I adjusted my posture to accommodate my new body and its completely different center of gravity. I was surprised at the range of motion the new hips offered. I was glad to feel that I had a pussy again, slowly doing its part to soak through the thong that was now riding up between my magnificent ass-cheeks.

Ellen looked at me hesitantly, unsure if my statement was a sign of enjoyment or outrage.

"I love it!" I exclaimed.

"You do?" She asked hesitantly, unsure of what to make of the situation.

"It's amazing! I feel so light and flexible. So manly, and... wow... " Soft pleasure began to fill me as I started cupping my tits.  "I can see why the entire football team is dressed up to show these things off, they're incredible." I gently gave one of my nipples a pinch and gasped. "Oh my god, they're so sensitive."

"You don't think its all a little... feminine?"

"Are you kidding?" I flexed my arm, sending my tits jiggling. "Look at me. I'm like, some kind of quarterback. I'm probably the manliest guy on campus right now"

"So, you like it?"

"I love it! And I can think of more than a few good uses for it." I said flirtatiously. My newfound virility evidently came with a price. I was horny to the point of distraction. My mind kept wandering back to images of Ellen bending me over and... well, let's just say I was really enjoying the way she was staring at my exposed cleavage. I wiggled around to give her a better view, once again sending my tits into a titter. It was going to take some doing to get these things under control.

"Wait... Holy crap." I snapped myself back to reality. "This thing really really works. Have you been using this thing?"

"A little?" she confessed, hunching her shapely shoulders. Clearly, she had been using it more than she thought she should have been.

I looked around to see if I could notice anything different, anything that stood out. How could I not notice something so out of place? It was terrifying in a way, to know that something could be so fundamentally wrong and that I'd apparently regard it as perfectly normal. It had to have limits, right?

The only things that looked out of place to me were the cheerleader now wearing my body and the football player now wearing the cheerleader's body. The former was the center of attention as she ground my poor flat butt into some football player's snatch out on the dance floor. The latter was still hitting on the bartender. I struggled not to laugh, but his swagger and confidence were now comically out of place coming from the cheerleader's tall, muscular body. How much of what I saw as normal wasn't? What profound changes were staring me right in the eye, unobserved?

"I experimented a little bit here and there." Ellen said. "I may have made myself a little sexier... and I may have had just the teensiest bit of fun with some of the patrons." Not satisfied with her confession, she added "I've always been impatient with new toys, you know that."

"Wait, you made yourself sexier?" Now that was something I was sure I'd notice.

"A little... here and there." She glanced down at herself. "Its funny, I don't think anyone can actually tell that I'm any hotter. I mean, right now I'm an eleven and I'm dressed like a total hoe-bag slut and no one has giving me any extra attention. But like, the important thing is that I know I'm hot now, you know? And that... well it makes me feel pretty. That's all I really wanted." She looked back up at me. "That's why I was worried when you said something was different about me, I was worried that somehow you noticed, that you could see me with all these extra parts tacked on, like a kid trying on her mom's clothes. Or, I dunno, like some kind of sex-starved bimbo Frankenstein. Oh god, before you got here I was so worried you wouldn't even be able to recognize me at all, you have no idea."

"Baby." I reached out and stroked her cheek. "To me, you look the same as you always have - beautiful."

"Oh yeah?" she smiled "Here, let's play a little game." What part of me do you find the most beautiful?"

"Easy," I grinned "it's-"

"And don't go saying my personality or any of that crap, Mr. Cheeseball." She interrupted. "I'm talking physical features here. I'll bet you its not even something that's originally mine."

"Wait," I said, looking down at her body with surprise, "did you really change yourself that much?"

"That's... probably a question best answered another time. The short answer is yes, but don't think you're going to get out of this by changing the subject. Which part of my body you like the most?"

What part of her did I find the most beautiful? That was actually a surprisingly difficult question. I found every part of her beautiful in its own way. Of course, my drunk and horny brain wanted to start rambling about how much I loved that hot, throbbing dick of hers, but then again my drunk and horny brain wanted to do a lot of things that I was able to think better of. I smiled dreamily at her as I pondered her question.

"You're eyes." I said, staring deeply into her big, soulful brown eyes.

"What?" she was clearly not expecting that answer.

"You have the most beautiful eyes."

"Really? You think my eyes are my most beautiful feature? Not my giant stripper titties or my perfectly toned ass, but my eyes?" She groped her body as she said this, for emphasis.

"Well if I said I love your dick, would you hold it against me?" It was such a bad line, but I had to hand it to my drunk and horny brain, it broke the tension.

She laughed. I could see emotion welling up in those big beauties of hers, but she held back a tear.

"You big sweet dummy. My eyes are, like, the one thing I didn't change."

She noticed me staring into her eyes and looked down with embarrassment, trying to regain her composure.

"I love you baby." She said it so softly and tenderly as to be almost imperceivably above the din of the crowd.

"I love you too." I said, trying to bask in the moment. As I said, I'm one of those hopeless romantic types.

"We should get out of here." I added. "Maybe head back to my place? We can test out what this new body can do, huh?" As romantic as the scene was, I was desperate to get something inside of me and I didn't know how much longer I could take it.

"Actually darling, I um, I have a confession to make..." she looked down at my tits awkwardly. "about that body."

"What about it?" I looked down to see if there was anything off about it, but I couldn't really see anything past my jiggling cleavage.

"Its..." she started "Gosh, how do I phrase this." She tilted her head to one side "Your body's not actually... its not..." She was making some grasping motions with her hands as though by way of explanation.

"Truth be told, I think it's perfect." I said, attempting to assuage her concerns. "I love how limber and flexible it is, and I feel so... virile. Does that make sense? I want you to have me so bad baby, you have no idea. I can't wait to get you home and we can see how athletic this body really is."

"You're really enjoying it that much, huh?"

"Yeah, I kind of am" I confessed, as much to myself as to her.

"Okay." She laughed "I won't spoil your fun. I guess. Its just that, well, I'm not into, er, people, who look like..." she made an hour glass gesture with her hand, "that."

"Oh," I probably would have been more hurt by her comment were this actually my body. "you mean you don't like the overly built jock type?"

"Y-yeah, you know what? Let's go with that." She gave me a wavering smile.

"But look," she continued, growing in confidence, "you seem to be enjoying it, and if there's one thing I've learned tonight its that there's no problem in life that can't be solved with a liberal dose of swapping."

"You want to swap me back?" I asked, confused.

"Better," she said, picking up the box and adjusting the controls, "I'm going to swap my sexual preferences with one of them." She gestured with her head at the crowd, where a pair of cheerleaders were competing for space on the petite lap of one of the smaller football players.

"Wait, can you even do that?" Were there really no limits to what this device could do?

"Of course." She said, brandishing the box confidently, "I think so, anyway. I guess this'll be a good way to find out. If I swap my sexuality with one of the football players, then, theoretically, I should find your current body to be the ideal of all that is sexy in the world."

"Baby I'll be your sexy ideal any time." I said, kicking myself as soon as the words left my lips.

As she fingered the controls on the device her words started to sink in.

"Don't you mean one of the cheerleaders?" I asked "Wouldn't swapping with one of the football players make you..."

She pressed the button before I could finish. I could swear I heard that faint zzzzttttt sound again, but I didn't notice anything different.

"Wouldn't swapping with one of the football players make you just even more into chicks? I mean, I know its normal for you to be just into girls, and that I've always been an exception to that, but wouldn't you want to swap with one of the cheerleaders? They're the ones drooling over these bodies." That made sense, right? Maybe she was trying to swap her homosexuality for one of the dudes heterosexualities? Or would it swap her gynophilia for one of their androphilias? Would fetishes carry over? Kinks? What did sexuality entail? Fuck. I was way too drunk to think this all through.

Ellen wasn't even really listening to me. She was looking at me now with a hungry look on her face. Her big beautiful eyes were all but bulging out of their sockets as she explored every exposed inch of my soft titflesh. I could tell she was enjoying the show, so I leaned forward to give her a better view. I was enjoying the attention.

"Oh my god." She said, slowly, "is... is this what its like all the time?"

"Wait, shit, I wasn't touching the thing." I glanced from it to her in alarm. "Did you change something?"

"Don't worry about it." She said, setting the box back down. "I just made a little swap so that I'd be able to better enjoy... all that" She said, gesturing to my curves, "and wow, do you ever have a lot of all that to enjoy. You picked a good body, baby." She bit her lip. "This opens up a whole new world of possibilities. Why did no one tell me boobs were so..." she made a squeezing motion with her hand. "Baby, the sight of you is doing crazy things to my dick right now."

"Funny," I retorted in half-mock flirtation "I can think of some crazy things for your dick to do to me."

"I think you were right. We should definitely go back to your place. We have some serious experimentation to do."

Oh my god, I couldn't have agreed with her more. My chest swayed as I stood up, throwing me a little off balance. Tugging my skirt back into place as best I could, I grabbed what I guessed was now my purse and started to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything.

"But wait," I asked, looking down at the box "what are we going to do with this device?"

"I have some ideas, actually." She said, putting it into her own handbag, "Petty revenge, mostly. I want to get a solid grip of all the things it can do first though, and to really figure out how to make it work the way I want it to."

"What good is it for revenge if the people you use it on don't know that anything's different?" I retorted. Seemed to me like it would be more frustrating than cathartic.

"Exactly!" She laughed as she stood up. "That's why I have to figure out to get it working properly. Once I've really run it through its paces, then we'll have some fun with it."

"Well how about you put me through my paces first," I said as I put my arm around her. "and then I can think of a few fun uses for it... in bed."

"You've got a one-track mind tonight." She said, raising an eyebrow accusatorially.

"I know, I know," I laughed, "I'm just... drunk and horny and I really, really just want to get you home so you can bed me over and make a man out of me."

She flashed me a predatory grin as slipped a hand around my waist "Well when you put it like that, how can I say no?"

We could barely keep our hands off each other as we stepped out of the bar into the cold night to find a cab. I kept tugging my miniskirt down to keep my ass covered, but it offered no real protection from the elements. I could tell Ellen was in the same situation. Without panties, the only thing keeping her massive dick from lifting up her skirt entirely was the way she had hastily tucked it into her waistband. Even this did little to hide the bulge though, and with every step it threatened to burst free. Not that I'd have minded. God, the things I wanted to do to that piece of flesh.

We lasted all of three minutes in the cab before we descended into a furious make-out session. Our enormous tits crushing into each other as we pressed and grinded our bodies together as best we could. I had never seen her so passionate about sex before.

As I came up for air I looked her in the eye and grinned. My head was swimming with possibilities.

In so far as I was concerned, I was the luckiest man alive, and though there would be a lot of swaps and a lot of changes in my future, right now, I wouldn't change a thing.