The Dream Interview

THE DREAM INTERVIEW

"Why should we select you?
"Because I have not given you a reason not to!"
"You seem to be a little over confident for your first interview."
"Well! Is that bad? I mean if I am not confident enough, then how will I expect you to have confidence in me?"
"Fair enough. Okay Manushi, tell me something about your future goals."
"I want people to know and respect me because of my work, I want to become independent financially and otherwise. Also, I want to gather all the knowledge I can and grow as a person."
While the interviewer was about to ask me another question, I looked at the clock and it had been an hour since the interview started. Wow! This was the longest imaginary kickass interview I had in the shower in the past one week.
It was a week ago when I got a call for an interview for my dream job. It was the first interview of my life and I was really nervous and excited at the same time. My life was about to change, I would be moving to a new city to work with some of the best professionals in the industry. I had never lived alone and this was my chance to prove myself. This was all dependent on that one interview which I had to crack no matter what. Hence, the daily shower preparations.
The day of the interview arrived
"Keys- check, portfolio-check, bag-check, ID card-check"
I took a cab and reached this huge glass building. I could see men and women dressed in their best outfits, carrying laptop bags in one hand and talking on phone with the other, coming out of cabs and walking towards the entrance. I followed them and as I entered the building, there was a lady standing there, ready to check my bag as if I was some terrorist carrying RDX with me.
I reached the reception desk, filled in the requisite details and walked towards the lift. The doors opened at the 8th floor. I walked towards the reception desk at that floor.
"Hi, I am here for the interview"
"Yes, come along please."
I was escorted by the guard to a room at the end of the hallway. I entered the room and faced the biggest shock of my life. There were 100 other applicants sitting there, waiting for their turn. 100 FUCKING APPLICANTS!!! Like are they being given free food or something?
And suddenly, the kickass interview from the morning took a new twist
"Why should we select you?
"Because I have not given you a reason not to!"
"You seem to be a little over confident for your first interview. We have 100 other applicants who actually have a reason for why we should select them and YOU should better GET OUT!!!"
"Sorry sir! But If I am not confident enough then how am I......"
"We don't we have time for all this. We have 100 people waiting outside. Please go"
"Sir, my goals are to....."
"Miss Manushi Shah" While I was daydreaming about how I am going to screw the interview, the HR called out my name. It was about time to stop dreaming and face the reality.
I got up from my seat, and followed her carrying my bag and portfolio in my hands. My heart was thumping like it was going to explode.
I entered the room and the person who was going to kick me out in another 5 minutes, was sitting right in front of me and the thumping reached it's highest level.
"Hi, please have a seat"
I suppose he can hear my heart beating
"Would you like to have something?"
Oh yes he can definitely hear it. Shhhhh
"Would you like to have something?" He repeated
"No, thank you sir"
"Okay so tell me something about yourself"
I am a loser who has been preparing for all the possible questions in this world to crack this interview, but have no idea about the question you just asked. What should I say about myself? I sleep a lot and when I am awake, I eat and then I go back to sleep. I also watch television and I talk to myself in the shower.
"You seem pretty nervous and lost. Are you okay?"
Ohh is that bad? If I am not nervous, then how I am going to make you believe in my nervousness?
"No, actually I was kind of zapped seeing the crowd outside"
Zapped?? Am I supposed to use words like these in an interview?
"Oh! Don't worry about the crowd. It's just you and me. No one's listening."
Yaa, like that would help.
After that, he asked me a few technical questions, to which I answered like somebody had a gun pointed at my head. It went for an hour and he ended it by saying "It was good. You can wait outside for the results".
Well, that means I did good. Really??? I was good? Ohh my god. I don't believe this. I was GOOD.
While I was celebrating my victory of doing "good" with a smile filled with pride, and a feeling of conquering the world for beating the people around me, the HR announced
"The following candidates have not been selected: Neha Kapoor, Rajat Mehta, Sonali Sharma and Manushi Shah"
Suddenly the dream bubble broke and I came back to senses trying to figure out what had just happened. Did she just say my name among the candidates NOT selected? How is that possible? I did GOOD. All confused, I ran up to her and asked her to repeat the names of the candidates not selected.
"It's Neha Kapoor, Rajat Mehta, Sonali Sharma and Manushi Shah" she said
And thus ended the greatest interview of my life.