A Little Introspection... Or Not.

I'm going to open the box today. The box in my mind that hides all the things I really don't want to look at. That I don't want to face. I keep them there because I really don't like to examine certain aspects of my life, my personality. " You're just a coward ", you might say and you would be right. I feel like sometimes I'm just on the edge of insanity and if I open the box and let those things out, I won't be on the edge anymore. I'll be in the deep hole reserved for the insane.
Do I really want to go there? I don't think so. I mean, that box has been perfectly fine. Closed up. Safe in my mind for all these years. So what good will it do other than opening things that are better off closed? It's my box, right? I could put a note in my will, "I'm dead now, feel free to open my box. Just don't be surprised at what you find."
That would be good.Then I won't have to face up to the bad parts of me. No, I don't think I'll open that box today. Let other people open theirs. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? Maybe later, when I'm a little stronger, I'll open that box. Let everyone see the Stranger that lives there. Until then, I'll leave it tucked away in the shadows, where no light can get to it. Let it sleep. Maybe tomorrow I'll open that box.... probably not.