Addiction

Some people
Are addicted to the sheer ecstasy
That comes with screaming someone's name
Others
Are addicted to
Shoving a needle in their arm
But me
Someone who saw
Her mother beaten
Has a much more dangerous addiction
To feeling pain
The more pain and hurt
I feel
The more I want to feel it
Whether its being hit
As a joke
Or being pinned down
As foreplay
All I keep wishing is that
Someone will see what I want
To be beaten into a hospital bed
I have an addiction
To death