Caught in the net: teens & online porn

Caught in the net: teens watching online porn

And “poof “ just like that he was gone……..
Where did he go?
Why did he disappear into oblivion?
This may never have been your experience of sex. But it could be for your teenage son or daughter who has found an online sex partner. Maybe in our little story “he “ became bored and clicked out, or maybe “he” had a bad connection. There are so many speculations one could have as to why this scened ended so abruptly and feels so cold. However, it may be more common than you think. The anonymity that online sex gives makes it easier to disconnect, literally and figuratively.

More than ever our young people from as young as 12 years, are watching porn online. The net has been revolutionary in its ability to provide everything imaginable with equal access for all. A young person only has to click “ Yes, I’m 18 “ and they are in. The internet has also been good at serving up opportunities for more interactive sex, with greater frequency and innumerable random partners. With apps that help hook-ups in real life, there is no limit to whom you can meet. Using the net to find a “hottie” is concerning since there is rising correlation between locating sexual partners online and contracting an STI or HIV.

The net is sumptuous, to youth who want to whet their sexual appetites and explore their sexual identity. In fact cyberspace is often a safe space for teens to navigate their marginalized sexuality. Sexting is one way to entice a potential romantic partner, by sending sexually suggestive nude or nearly nude images via text messaging. It is not unusual for teenagers to search for someone online to talk to about sex, to have sex with or to send a photo or video where they are partly naked. Depending on your child’s peer group, this type of behavior might be seen as acceptable. This means that if all their friends on/offline are doing it, they will “have to” in order to fit in. It might mean your little 12 year old having sex sooner than you wish.

It is said that it may be easier to find a needle in a haystack than to find a teenage boy who has not seen online porn. What begins as a timid interest can quickly avalanche into an addiction. A US study indicates that on average they watch roughly 2 hours of porn every single week. It may seem safe enough or entirely harmless for a boy to achieve sexual gratification online instead of out there in a world full of diseases……but before we begin to cheer them on, consider an Italian study of 28,000 who started consumption of porn at 14 and became sexually unresponsive in their 20’s. It meant that even the most violent, sexual images did nothing to stimulate them. When a young man’s sexual experience develops outside of a real life sexual relationship, you can be sure that he will suffer erectile problems - advises Professor Carlo Foresta of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine. First they become less responsive to porn sites, then their libido drops and finally it becomes difficult to get an erection. Healthy young men should not have a problem getting or maintaining a full erection and eventually reaching full orgasm.
The book, Man Interrupted- warns that online porn really distorts men’s idea of a healthy relationship, with the porn images always at the back of their mind when with a real life partner.
Constant exposure to a steady stream of porn in your teen years can actually put your sexual tastes or template so far out of sync with reality, that it becomes difficult to have a healthy sexual relationship with anyone. This is because once the addictive behavior takes root, there is always an uncontrollable craving for more extreme, more arousing and even bizarre images such as rape or even child porn. The teen addicted to porn might feel that they are getting their sexual needs met, when in fact they are rewiring their brain for stranger material in order to climax.
Young men are only now beginning to talk about the benefits when they stop using online porn, such as clearer thinking, better memory, more motivation, deeper relationships and better real life sex!! High speed streaming of internet porn seems to be more than our brains can handle.

So who is most at risk for porn addiction? Usually at-risk youth. Those who have a background of sexual or physical abuse, delinquency, depression and serious family problems. These youth also seem to take more risks online says the article -Internet Seduction: Online sex offenders prey on at-risk teens. Sex education which speaks to porn consumption and its dangers, what to do with inappropriate sexts or other types of inappropriate communication online is best. Teens should also be discouraged from sharing personal information especially scantily clad pictures of themselves.

Porn online or otherwise tends to be a one dimensional expression of sexuality. It is someone else’s perspective of how sex ought to be. Our teens need to be encouraged to appreciate that sex is one of the most beautiful and divine connections we can share with another human being, and that it needs to be approached consensually, reverentially and with respect. We will never know if the “he” in our story had a premature climax, but for all the high speed streaming there was very little connection!