A deep sleep

She sleeps... a deep sleep.... some times I hate it, but because of her I've found things to love about it, she knows... she knows it's me once I kiss her cheek, her natural state of tenseness that is gifted to each beautiful woman brought up in this world, she feels a presence, but two familiar lips caress her into blissfullness as they touch her cheek, she knows my lips, knows my touch, even in the deepest abyss of the dreams she currently swims in, like second nature she starts to wrap around me like a vine around a branch, bringing warmth to both plants, she knows it's me, as i subtly kiss her neck my hand on her breast can feel her heart beat speed up until her chest looks like its moving with a rhythm, she loves me... she loves me.... I can feel it through her body and soul, because people's mouths have led me astray too many times in this world, I don't trust words, but the warmth in my heart is produced by a raw feeling, she's mine she's mine, though i want her awake, though I want to see her dreamy brown round eyes looking up at me seducing me into slower and smoother breaths, I am content with just the reality that she's mine, she's here she's here, right beside me warm and cozy, I stare... I stare... because i know it's not forever, and i want to fill my heart with all the love i can before It deflates like an old worn out air mattress, cause once a hole presents itself it will no longer be used for sleep. She's gone... she's gone... where she used to lay remains cold, I grip my covers with regret and bitter sweet memories that force their way in like a burglar but they will find no treasure, just me alone, she's gone...she's gone... her smell is gone, I force my mind into worry, hoping she's ok, but knowing if she is then she never needed me, knowing she'll never be back, it hurts... it hurts.... it's a vividly sharp pain in my chest, I feel like my heart is going to fall out at any minute, then sometimes i hope she finds me in my mess and realizes how much in fact I was a slave to her presence, how doomed I am without her, as I'm buried alive by my own addictions and problems I've created for myself, they pile on top of me like dry dirt , I can't breath... I can't breathe... one of my hands still touches fresh air but I can't feel the wind anymore, it's too late, it's too late, but i still hold on to the hope that a delicate tan finger will link onto mine as she tries to pull me up tears drip down her fingers that hold hope for me as she realizes more and more it is hopeless, I feel the tear go down my wrist and for a moment i can feel the air get colder as it softens the dirt that holds me, but she's gone..she's gone...I don't even feel air, I'm numb.. I'm numb... I try to hide from my thoughts and do anything that will temporarily take away the pain even if just for today, she leaves she leaves, as many others see the hand in the soil and predetermine that it's too late, I can't sleep, i can't sleep, cause she sleeps somewhere else...