She Needed A Nightgown.

My eyes snapped open — something wasn’t right! I sleep lightly and sounds I don’t recognize get my instant attention. Listening and staring up into the black the soft green numerals showing 3:20 AM and a faint outline around the blackout curtains from the damned streetlight we’re the only illumination.

The clock went through 3:21 and at 3:22 I heard a faint Tick sound. Getting out of bed quietly is a problem. My memory foam mattress and bed are totally silent, but my body does not like to move after inactivity. Getting up is a lot noisier at 76, but I controlled it and the only sound was the sheet sliding off and I had trouble hearing that.

I made no noise picking up the pistol and silenced cell phone. It cost me thousands when I built to make sure my floors and stairs didn’t squeak so my trip to the landing was noiseless. I could see a glow from my living room and when I reached the railing a shadow figure was going through my Bombay chest with a penlight. The tick had been the handle on the top drawer. My procrastination. . . thank you . . . had woke me.

They turned slightly and their anatomy said Female. I said, “What are you looking for?” as I snapped the lights on and I think her response woke neighbors.

“AAIIEEEEE! HOLY CRAP, IAN! You scared me half to death.”

It was my girlfriend. “What’re you doing sneaking around at three in the morning?”

“I just got back and needed a nightgown before coming up to crawl in with you. Uhh, put the gun away?”

“Okay, let’s have coffee ...”

“Coffee? At 3AM? You’re insane.”

“Doesn’t bother me.”

“It does me. How about I talk you out of that in bed.”

“Much better idea.”