Can I Have Your Right Leg?

Can I Have Your Right Leg?

“A 3 day storm with 20 foot waves then the boat sinks. We haven’t eaten in 2 days and I’m getting very hungry.”

“You had that candy bar.”

“That was 2 days ago. Did you save anything?”

“We lost everything when we hit the coral. The boat sank fast and you whacked your head. I almost didn’t get you above the surf line. And you can stop staring. I want your shorts.”

“Okay. The sand is soft and warm and it may be our last chance...”

“Jesus Ian, is that all you ever think about?”

“No, sometimes I think about food. Like now. Can I have your right leg? Just from the knee down, not the whole thing.”

“Wha... What? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Just kidding. We’re likely to be here for a while and I’m pretty hungry.”

“The answer is no, but now that you mention it I’m very hungry and your left arm is looking pretty good. I could go for that if we found some onions and garlic. I’ll just burn the hair off.”

“Ohhh, another cannibal, I was thinking I’d gnaw on yours raw. You always look very edible and you’ve already denuded your appendage of hair and I already know how tasty it is from the outside.”

“Why do I let you drag me into these stupid conversations. We should be talking about getting rescued.”

“Actually there’s nothing wrong with cannibalism as long as you cook the meat well enough to kill all the pathogens. I don’t think I want to cook you though.”

“That’s a disgusting thought, Ian. Right now I’d like to cook you, and not for dinner. This has nothing to do with rescue.”

“No it doesn’t, but I’m pretty hungry.”

“Give me your shorts.”

“Why?”

“So I can tear the crotch out and wear them like a jog bra. I refuse to be rescued naked. You caused the problem, you get naked.”

“Okay, I’m sorry I dropped that line, but the wind was wicked. Here’s your bikini top. I saw it and stuck it in my pocket just before I whacked my head. That’s why I wasn’t holding on.”

“You turkey!”

“Well... I was enjoying the very nice view.”

“If we get out of this I’ll never let you ‘View’ again”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, I would. I’m sorry Ian, I’m scared. When will someone come? Do we write in the sand? How about a fire? It doesn’t look like there’s anything that’s dry enough to burn even if I knew how to rub 2 sticks together. What if it’s months before were seen?i”

“I should have told you, I was just screwing with you. I got the locator beacon triggered and set free. Someone’ll be along within a day.”

“You scared the crap out of me! When will they get here?”

“Within 24 hours. It was about 6AM when we hit so probably late today or in the morning. Now, about that leg?”

“And that luscious arm.”