1:02 am

They say it will get better.
But the medication paralyzes me,
until I can’t get out of bed, and
it feels like my head is in the clouds.
They say it will get better,
but I feel like I’m in a movie theater
watching every mistake,
every decision,
every move,
every conversation,
that digs my grave even deeper.
They say it will get better, but
I’ve hated myself since the 7th grade, and
I hate the world around me, and
I hate them for saying it will get better.
They say it will get better,
but I’m so tired of this rollercoaster, and
I’m so tired of this endless battle
with myself and everything around me.
They say it will get better,
but I crave the darkness,
the silence it brings me.
They say it will get better,
but I don’t care anymore,
I just want my mind to be at peace
for once in my whole life, and
I have come to understand,
that it will get better for them, but
Not for me.