Angry, Ghetto, & Loud

I can't tell you how many times I have been judged on how I look like, before someone actually got to know me. It might have been the type of clothes I was wearing or just simply that my skin color was a darker shade. That I have gotten treated differently. Also, because of how my hair looks kinky, being natural sometimes comes with problems. Like people calling me names because my hair is "nappy" where some people think it should be a different way.

When I was in Elementary school, in fifth grade my best friend at the time was liking this quirky kid with glasses, and flappy hair he was a nice Caucasian boy who we were friends with in our little group. We had like this class bully, Steve, he would make fun of the other students, and just pick on them for no reason. I guess he like initiated our friend, Kyle who my best friend liked made him stop hanging out with us and just hung out with Steve. Well one day my friend had the courage to ask out Kyle and my friends were just pumped for her, giving her encouraging words, we just knew he would just say yes since we've been friends for so long thinking that this hanging out with Steve was just a phase.

Then when she finally did it in front of the whole class Kyle said that "he would never go out with a black girl, and that she shouldn't have expected that anyway." We as her friends was devastated and one of our close friends we grew up Khilia was really upset she thought he shouldn't have said that, that he's a racist and that she was going to our guidance counselor. Being a kid at that time I had no idea that me being black was going to make me be perceived as differently from the other kids because of my skin color, and that day in fifth grade opened my eyes. What happened next was totally unexpected, well to me. I got called down to the ISS office, which made me pretty scared at the time thinking that I did something wrong and that my life was over. When I got in the office I saw all my friends and some other black girls my class that I really didn't speak to. I asked Khilia why was we all in here, she looked at me like I was stupid and said "You're black, duh." "You was there the day Kyle said that racist stuff." I looked at all of us and just blanked out and was just not getting it, I mean he didn't say it to me he just said to my friend, so I told her that and then they all gave me that death glare and it looked like Khilia was about to "read me my rights" as they like to say but she got interrupted when Kyle came in with the counselor looking like a deer in the headlights. We all turned towards them and the counselor made us write a report about what happened as the counselor made Kyle apologize. Which I thought was crazy as well because we all have a preference of someone who we want to date, yes he said it in a nasty way but I thought it wasn't that big of a deal to get the counselor involved.

I forget all about that situation when I got into middle school and started to make another set of friends and just tried to stay out of drama. In six grade that's when President Obama got elected and I knew that things were really changing that racism was really diddling down. I remember even watching it on t.v. in class when he got elected it was the highlight of my day.

High school rolled around and that was when the real drama started to happen. Some friends splitting up because the other friend said something behind their back. The other friend having problems with their family and was cutting their self. I wanted to get away so in my junior year in high school I went to Lewis and Clark tech school to take my mind off of things. I was in the Health Related Occupations program for Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA). Which I had no idea that would add to my problems. In order to get to tech school from my high school I had to ride the tech bus with other kids going to Lewis and Clark. Some of the kids were rednecks/hillbillies may I say in the least. They would get on the bus every morning and chew tobacco and talk about how bad President Obama was doing in the White house, then talk about cars, and then one talked about his cattle on his farm. It was nerve wreaking to me so one day I stood up and asked simply; "why is President Obama so bad?" They seemed to be mad that I asked the question. They gave me some lame excuse that I can't remember about oil and enemies from different countries. So I gave them one simple reason why I liked President Obama and that's Osama bin Landin is dead, and that was enough for me to put my faith in him, not just that he was also black but that he can also handle tough situations for our country.

They didn't care at all, they just went back to their arguments. A few weeks later I hear the "N" word on the bus and it was two white guys talking like that to each other. I was pissed off that they even said it as a joke like sense. I went off on them and "read them their rights" people like to say. Then, I hear "that's why I can't date black girls because they are too ghetto" and it came from my friend Charlie, who is also black. I try to explain to him that I wasn't and that I was just sticking up for the very race that he is. That really didn't help matters, I was seen as the angry black woman on the bus by then.

I just couldn't understand why I was branded angry, ghetto, and loud just because I stood up for what I thought was right. What I'm so passionate for is going to get me a brand to my name because I talked loud for what needed to be heard. I am not my hair, I am not my skin color, and I am definitely not what I wear.

I am Briana.