The Contract

‘It’s illegal NOT to smoke on the premises,’ the sign read on the wall as Patricia walked inside the building for the first day in her new job. Must be a mistake she assumed. Or an office prank, seeing as the smoking ban had been in place now for years.

So it was a surprise when she got to the reception desk and saw the two ladies, Hazel and Betty, behind smoking to their heart’s content.

‘Didn’t you read the sign?’ Betty asked.

‘The sign?’ squeaked Patricia.

‘The smoking sign!’ Hazel announced fiercely, exhaling towards the ceiling.

‘Oh, I thought it was a joke.’

‘There’s no joking here. It’s illegal not to smoke. That’s what it says. Can’t you read? ‘Take the elevator to floor eight, Ms. Grey is expecting you. You’re Patricia, I assume.’

‘Yes,’ Patricia replied nervously.

When the lift finally opened Patricia saw that everybody inside was smoking; Three men and two women all sucking on cigarettes and full of smiles.

Patricia tried pinching herself a few times wondering if perhaps she was dreaming. But as she choked on the smoke filling up the lift like a gas chamber, she realised it was all real. Trying to stay near the lift vents, she watched as the workers inhaled and exhaled passionately, embracing the toxins entering their bloodstream. Passing each floor, the doors swung open as office staff left and joined the foggy atmosphere inside the small compartment, lighting up and contributing to the haze that hovered above. The elevator floor was covered in ash, and dispenser bins were fitted to the elevator walls.

When the lift got to the eighth floor she leapt out barely able to breathe and desperately hoped her office would be non-smoking like every other one in the country. But it was not. The 8th floor was as smoky as the lift. A yellow fug hung over the desks and computers like smog, with overflowing ashtrays sitting next to desk tidies.

‘This is insane,’ Patricia muttered to herself as she gazed around and saw that everyone was either putting a cigarette out, smoking one, or lighting up a fresh one.

‘Hello Patricia,’ a voice behind her said. Patricia looked round and saw a middle-aged woman walking up to her offering her hand.

‘I’m Alice, sorry we didn’t meet at the interview, I heard good things from the panel, I’ll be your manager,’ she said taking a deep drag of her cigarette between her yellowed fingers.

‘Pleased to meet you,’ replied Patricia. ‘Ermm, I was wondering if I could have a word before we start.’

‘Of course, let’s go to my office where we can talk and smoke in private.’

The lady showed Patricia into a spacious, heavily nicotine stained office and offered her a cigarette.

‘What the hell’s going on?’ Patricia demanded refusing her offer.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Alice, taken aback. ‘I don’t quite follow.’

‘Smoking! Why is everybody smoking? What is this place? A laboratory? Some experiment gone horribly wrong? If I had known I’d be passive smoking here, I’d never have applied. ’

Alice took a long meditative drag on her cigarette. ‘I’m not sure I follow you at all Patricia. And by the way, you need to light a cigarette.’

‘Why do I need to light up a cigarette?’ cried Patricia. ‘I don’t even smoke. I came here to work not smoke.’

‘What do you mean you don’t smoke?’ Alice paused, crushed her cigarette out, lit another and looked directly at Patricia. ‘I don’t understand what you’re talking about. Everybody smokes. It’s our policy. It was in your contract when you accepted the terms. Didn’t you read the small print?’

With cigarette dangling, Alice dug out Patricia’s new HR file from her cabinet, and removed the signed contract, and handed to her new employee.

Within one of the latter entries on the last page, Patricia read the term “Clause XI – By accepting the position, it is imperative that you will smoke upon commencement. Refusal to participate in this activity will lead to disciplinary action.”

It was then Patricia realised something very bad was happening to her and without saying another word left the room and started running back down the corridor past a giant cigarette vending machine. Patricia got into the lift and was immediately confronted by two female office staff, puffing on cigarettes. Despite her protestations, Patricia was dragged back into Alice’s office and forced back into the chair.

‘Where do you think you are going?’ they shouted, their eyes squinting as the smoke rose up from the cigarettes.

‘Get off, you’re insane,’ cried Patricia.

‘We’ll see who’s insane, since you are in breach of contract, it’s time for disciplinary action’ said Alice taking a pack of cigarettes out of her jacket.

‘No,’ protested Patricia. ‘Please no more.’

‘All our employees must smoke,’ replied Alice, who forced a cigarette into Patricia’s mouth.

‘No, please,’ wailed Patricia. ‘Let me go, I don’t want to smoke.’

‘Shut up and smoke,’ the others both said in unison. ‘You have no choice. Everybody’s got to smoke.’

‘But I don’t want to,’ pleaded Patricia. ‘Please! I don’t want to smoke. It’s not good for you.’

‘We’ll decide what’s good for you,’ said Alice, as she shoved another cigarette into her mouth. ‘Now stop squealing and start smoking,’

‘OK OK!,’ said Patricia. ‘I’ll smoke, I’ll smoke.’

Alice handed Patricia a cheap plastic yellow lighter with the image of a skull and crossbones on it.

Patricia sat up on the chair, and placed the cigarette between her lips, as the others watched.

“Now light up.” Alice insisted as the others inhaled in unison.

It took a few efforts to flick the wheel of the lighter to life, as a spark rose, Patricia leant the tip into the flame and sucked tentatively. Memories of being forced to smoke by bullies from her school days came flooding back as she tried to brace herself from the toxic smoke.

Unlike her past encounter, the smoke filled her mouth, and stroked her tongue delicately, tingling her tastebuds. While the smoke coated her mouth, Patricia’s defences weakened, as her body twitched.

Alice and her colleagues smoked in silence, watching intensively as their new employee went through their ‘initiation’. They dragged deeply on their cigarettes, as Patricia twitched involuntarily to the smoke. The toxins tickled the base of her tongue, and Patricia gasped, unknowingly inhaling it all down into her once-virgin lungs. Once there, the nicotine hit kicked in. The smoke soaked into the lungs, and the nicotine shot through her body, delivering a pleasurable electric charge, almost sending her into an orgasm. Patricia had to clutch the end of the desk, with her hand holding the smouldering cigarette, to stop herself from climaxing as the nicotine hit all her pleasure zone.

“Oh fuck…” Patricia panted as smoke poured out from her nose and mouth. The tingle simmered down, and she exhaled a cloud of smoke through her pursed lips.

‘That’s better, isn’t it?’ Alice asked as she lit a new cigarette. Her colleagues were dismissed as Patricia was now under control.

Patricia looked at the lit cigarette between her fingers, and raised it to her lips, taking another drag, this time with anticipation than trepidation. Her cheeks caved in, as she now demanded the blissful feeling of nicotine to surge through her.

‘Yeh,’ Patricia exhaled towards the ceiling.

‘Now that you will comply, I can now go over all the other details...” Alice said, as she tapped her cigarette against the ashtray, while Patricia sunk back into her chair, now enjoying the nicotine buzz.