Letter to past me

They say everything happens for a reason. Sometimes those reasons are unknown but in the end everything comes together like the final stitch in a quilt. Many find it near impossible to keep going once life has thrown everything it has at them. People say you meet the love of your life after the mistake of your life but what they fail to mention is the trauma that follows you. The late nights filled with terror and paranoia and tears. Pillowcases stained with makeup meant to be worn to a coffee date with friends while your phone is in your hands frozen on a singular text that took your breath away. The worry that constantly plagues your soul that everyone will destroy you in the same way. You seek out what you know for a while and then it becomes clear that you are worth more. It happens quickly most times. A quick chat at the right time and your hooked. When you find that person its something you feel in your soul. Everything changes in a moment. This person occupies your mind even though you may have only known them for a short period. It will take your breath away and you dont know whether its fear or love. Then you look inside yourself and realize it is love.its a love youve never known. One where not everything is your fault and one where you are appreciated neyond the ends of the earth. Its a weird feeling but you will understand it. One day the realization will come to you that this is what you deserve. Thats the day you will let go. Thats the day you can start again. No pain. No tears. Only the fight against the dark that invades your brain like a ice cold bath of hatred towards yourself. But you wont be alone you have someone by your side who will follow you into the dark. Fight to keep them. You know how it is to lose love too soon while you say you will survive you wont so fight to keep it and be a better you. You will learn to enjoy the life youve been given and one day the darkness wont be so bad. I promise you this.
Love,
You from the future