My story. The second part.

…I didn’t want my brains to be splattered all over the driveway or my body to be rotting in my apartment – I rarely have guests. So I decided to jump off a bridge. There was one in my town over the river.

Then fighting with myself started. I wanted to write my girlfriend a farewell message, or buy a drink to make everything easier. It would take a long time if I wished to describe all my mental anguish, hopeless melancholy, existential angst and other feelings that took hold of me. In this state I spent about two hours. At a little past eleven in the evening I got myself together, got dressed and went outside.
As soon as find myself in the yard a strong smell of the raw sewage hit me. I must have gotten used to it by then but I didn’t. Having walked a few meters, I saw a pack of dogs. One of them noticed me, stopped and started staring at me. After a minute the dog lost interest in me and continued sniffing about. I walked to the highway.

I waited for a bus for forty minutes: they go rarely that late. When at last it arrived and I entered, there was only one passenger inside – the man, middle thirties, looking like a hobo. “My last company” – I thought and chuckled.

During the whole ride I was deep in my thoughts. The shining of the lights on the bridge got me back to reality. I asked to stop and got out.

I came to the edge of the bridge on autopilot as if it was not me who controlled my body. I’d be lying if I said I was afraid or, on the contrary, longed to jump off. I didn’t feel anything at all. It was dark and the water seemed black… to be continued