The Knife

Anxiety rushes over me,
like waves along the shore.
Crashing down and pulling me under,
my head can't take anymore.

My heart pounding out of my chest,
is this feeling going to end?
I'm trying to keep up my smile,
but it's getting harder to pretend.

"Too much this, too much that,
your emotions are out of control."
I'm pushed aside and tossed away.
This mentality is taking its toll.

Every time I get ahead,
I'm slammed ten steps back.
I'm overwhelmed by anxiety,
trying to prolong the oncoming attack.

Fight through this, you are strong,
words I tell myself amidst pain.
I'm choking back the tears,
as the blade nears my vein.

My demons have become my friends,
promising to fulfill my dreams.
But even if the grass looks greener,
it's not as beautiful as it seems.

Maybe things will get better.
My demons promise a better life.
But how will I know I can trust them for sure,
if I don't begin to put down the knife?