Can I cry tonight?

Can I cry it out tonight?
I've been hiding it for a while.
Kept it hidden in my smile.
Laughing out my pain,
as i cry without a sound.
Smiling as it hurts,
masking the broken heart
that has given up the fight.

Can I cry it out now?
I've been wanting to for a while
It's like I've kept myself in an exile.
Trying to blend in,
as the sadness slowly creeps in.
Fighting with myself,
keeping it well hidden,
locking myself deeper and deeper,
hiding my scars with clothes,
masking the pain with a smile.

Talk to me,
I'm open to conversations.
Smile with me,
I have a sense of humor.
Laugh with me,
I've got jokes too.
Don't leave me alone,
I've got feelings too.

Try to crack down my walls,
I want to get out.
Try to pull me through,
I'm tired of surviving.
Try and understand me,
I've been through a lot.
Try and make me smile,
I haven't genuinely done that in a while.

I admit I am depressed,
I have been for a while.
I admit I am broken,
I am in pieces as I smile.
I admit I have given up,
I have already lost the fight
I admit I am a quitter,
I free myself from the chains of life tonight.