History Of The South Carolina Flag

History of the South Carolina Flag

"Well, howdy folks! My name is Odus Royce Purnell but you can call me Odie for short." A large, boisterous man, Odie had an infectious laugh that caused his belly to roll like Santa Clause. Odie continued, "I'm here today to relate to you the history of the South Carolina flag as told to me by my late, late grandfather Eustus. Now, folks, granddaddy was known to stretch the truth here and there but he swore to me on a mason jar of the best Oconee county moonshine ever made that this here story is the gospel truth as was told to him by a local authority on such matters, Mr. Emmitt C. Sawbone."

Odie stopped and cleared his throat.

"Now ladies and gents, the flag of South Carolina came about as a result of a drunken brawl instigated by one Colonel Jake Bladderful (of German descent), hailing from the tiny settlement of Salem, S.C.

On the eve a particularly feared battle with Union troops, the Confederates were sitting in front of the campfires making peace with God, talking of the war and otherwise busying themselves to keep their minds off the coming battle. It was a sure thing to be hard fought and long.

One boy had struck up a still in back of the camp and was happily filling the tin cups of anyone who asked. Naturally, this included just about every man in camp.

As you might guess, the troops were soon drunk and before long a fiddle, banjo, guitar and mandolin came forth and a loud party broke out within the confines of the camp.

Soldiers everywhere were singing to favorite Southern tunes such as Old Joe Clark, Amazing Grace, Ain't Gonna' Work Tomorrow and John Henry.

Awakened by the racket, the company commander, Colonel Jake Bladderful, quickly rose to investigate.

He stumbled upon the party and became very irritated. A bunch of drunken Rebel soldiers, most of whom could not carry a tune in a basket when sober, let alone drunk, had ruined a pleasant dream involving many women of questionable character.

The Colonel stomped his bare feet and yelled at his men, "Shut up and go to bed! Have you forgotten we're fighting a war tomorrow? Get some sleep!"

The drunken men did not take well to this swaggering, belligerent officer telling them what to do! Several of the men challenged the Colonel while several others sided with him. A fight ensued and soon engulfed the entire camp.

Unbeknownst to the troops, the Union spies were just out of sight, observing the entire affair from their hiding place beneath a Blackjack palm tree. The spies, barely able to contain their laughter, were in a clump when a gang of fighting Rebels burst out of nowhere and landed square on top of them!

Both Union and Rebel troops were in a brief state of shock at seeing the other "side" within the campground.

The Union spies were so consumed with laughter at the whole affair they burst into another laughing fit as soon as the shock of seeing the Rebel troops on top of them wore off.

The Rebels, drunk and confounded by the laughing Union spies, soon began to laugh as well and before long, both parties were in a laughing fit that simply would not stop! Every time one of them managed to stop long enough to catch his breath, the image of what was happening would have them rolling on the ground in yet another laughing fit.

Soon the rest of the camp took notice of the raucous and wandered over to investigate the cause of this strange laugh fest. It wasn't long before the entire complement of Rebel troops from the camp surrounded the Union spy contingent.

After much confusion, the troops arrested the Union spies and placed them into the custody of the Colonel. Disgusted with his men, Colonel Bladderful released the spies and returned to bed, hoping to revive his wonderful dream before daylight came and the battle began.

The rest of the camp, seeing the Union spies walk free, decided en-mass to retire for the night and stumbled back to their respective tents and passed out.

Still consumed by uncontrollable fits of laughter, the Union spies hurried back to the Union encampment to report the incident to their commanding officer.

Hailing from Scatchin Itch, Connecticut, Colonel William E. Pesterberry, the Union commander, was so bemused by the whole incident he retracted his troops to give the Rebels a day to sleep it off.

The next morning when the Rebel troops awoke, the Union army was nowhere to be found! Colonel Bladderful reasoned that the Union troops were nothing more than yellow bellied liverworts, declared the battle a victory and roused his troops to break camp. He rallied the troops with the now infamous cry (at least in South Carolina!) "Victoria, Victoria Where Art Thou!?"

He then declared the battle complete and ordered the troops to march back to Greenville where, upon his triumphant return, he retired to the nearest house of ill repute in search of a woman named Victoria.

So, to make a long story short, they created the South Carolina flag in honor of Colonel Jake Bladderful and the Confederate victory at the battle of StopenLicker Hill on the night of August 24th, 1863.

The crescent moon is to honor the fine men under command of Colonel Bladderful and their undying commitment to quality Moonshine making skills.

The palm tree honors the courage of the Confederate troops fighting the enemy while under the undue influence of aforementioned Moonshine and also to give small mention to the excellent hiding places (mostly used by Union spies) provided by Blackjack palm trees - an otherwise useless species of palm tree.

So folks, now you know the REAL story."

Copyright 2019 Richard Hansen

Nunya