Refect

Sometimes you just sit back and think of who you are and who you used to be. Then you realize that it never mattered. That life as you know is over. You think all the time about how unhappy you are and wish you were somewhere else. Though, the Universe put you where you are for a reason. Among people who don't see you, who don't give a fuck about where your from, how you got there. It's like you never existed or matter. You have memories of how things used to be. The friends you hung out with, your old high school crush, your old high school, your two best friends, attending choir classes, dance trips, and thing that mattered the most to you. You wanna go back, you want to be loved, and happy again. But, your stuck. Your stuck in a universal world of hell. You cry every night wishing it would all go away, that a miracle would happy. Your trapped in this wasteland. You walk everywhere without a purpose. Your whole existence bathes in loneliness. And when someone looks you into your eyes, they'll see that you already died. I truly want to die, and I've tried. Guess I didn't take enough pills. Guess it wasn't in the plans.. In the past, I was strong, I knew I could fight it off. Now, I don't know if I'll survive. The emotional waves crash on my shores more often now. I can't tell if I'm getting better or worse. To be honest, I wanna live, just because I know deep inside that I was meant more than just this...suffering. But i'm not sure if that feeling is strong enough to keep me alive...