A recurring nightmare I used to have which was often spurred on by the silliest of things. |
Iām in a room. My living room; although, at first, it doesnāt seem like that. Somehow, itās different. The walls are not quite cream enough and the carpet not quite soft enough and the air doesnāt smell right. The windows are on the wrong side of the wall, the longest side, facing the street, rather than the shortest side, facing my garden - my garden that somehow I can still see. Somehow itās still my living room. Dream logic, I guess. There are other people in the room, as well. Again, I donāt notice that at first. I donāt notice that they are, in fact, my friends. Except they donāt really have faces and theyāre all wearing the same nondescript blue uniform and theyāre all the same height (which really isnāt right, because Maira is absolutely tiny and Pheobe is a giant, but thatās dream logic, I suppose). Weāre looking out of the windows - the windows which are wrong but donāt feel wrong - onto the street - the street I shouldnāt be able to see. There is a man on that street. He is walking past the window. He kind of looks like the Terminator except heās bald. Heās looking dead ahead, doesnāt see all those peering eyes through the window less than a meter away from him (dream logic) and he doesnāt react to the cars whizzing past him. He is expressionless. Thereās nothing especially sinister about him yet somehow I am quaking. I am terrified. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know itās a dream. Iāve figured out how itās going to end because Iāve had it before. I remember... and now everything is speeding up becauseā¦ Heās reached the edge of the window and he keeps walking past so that we can no longer see him from our window. I know - because itās my house although this isnāt actually my real house and in my real house this is not the case - that there is a room next door with another window. I can spy on him there. I say so. No one hears despite me being in amongst the crowd and despite no one else speaking. I know what that means. Iāve been here before. Somehow - dream logic - I still react the same. I go to the door. Heās there. I was expecting it, Iām not surprised, and yet the feel of his slipping a blade underneath my collarbone and straight into my lungs (and the dream continues) is still cold and still frightening and still- there are no words anymore. There is just the cold of a knife and the sound of my friends-who-arenāt-really-my-friends (because this is just a dream!) screaming and there is this silence. In the back of my head there is nothing. No thoughts. I wake up. Iāve got heart burn. Again. |