Why I Can Never Do Drugs Again

Peter W. Why You Should Never Touch Drugs Again 04 Feb 2020

You recently found your phone from 2014-2015. You were just 19 then, wow you look so young. You were going through some hard shit man. I know you wanted to kill yourself every day, and I know there were good reasons. But turning to drugs was not the correct answer, and you never did feel better. In fact, you felt 10 times worse, scared and trapped like an animal. In case you forget here is a short list of the drugs you've done. Nicotine, Alcohol, Marijuana, Cocaine, Methamphetamine, Synthetic spice, Acid, Lsd, Xanax, Heroin based MDMA, and Psychedelic mushrooms. Oh, I guess that's not a short list huh, you were actually a fuck up. How did that happen? And why didn't you stop?

You weren't happy with your childhood, so you became a troublemaker, and your friends were troublemakers too. So, I'm not surprised they started doing drugs and you did them as well. They say that weed isn't a gateway drug but after smoking it for a couple of years you wanted to move on and do more. Maybe that isn't the case for everyone but for you, an addictive personality, one taste and one drug isn't enough. At any point you could have stopped using drugs, but you didn't. Its not because you didn't want to, no its because you were addicted and don't let any version of us tell you different. Let me take you down memory lane to highlight your drug use.

Okay so this story Is a little funny, but it shows you how dumb weed is and no you cannot complete engineering college while smoking. You were in physics class high because it was right after lunch. Mr. Payne handed out some quizzes and it looked like algebra, but there were no numbers, just variables. Nobody seemed to understand how to complete the quiz, but you had an epiphany. All the letters suddenly made sense and the equations were so easy. The equations were solvable without numbers. You even told Andres to cheat off of your quiz because you were so confident. After turning in the quiz Mr. Payne graded them and gave them back. You made a 17% or something like that. You actually thought you were going to get a high grade, but it turned out you weren't supposed to solve anything, just rearrange the variables into formulas. And you failed the shit out of that quiz and so did Andres.

I'm going to keep the memories coming for you. You wanted to buy cocaine, but your dealer was out of town, so you asked Nic where to get some. He messaged a few people and said he found where he and you could buy. So, you and Nic got the cocaine with the last of the money in your bank account and brought it back to that shitty no furniture apartment of yours. It was very compacted and pressed together so you had to really cut it up. Eventually it was fine enough to snort. This coke stung your nostrils, and it was very strong. Stronger than any coke you'd ever done. Nic laughed and said to you that this wasn't coke, it was meth. He told you he could tell because he was a recovering meth addict. So, in that drug addict brain of yours, you decided to smoke the meth using a lighter, aluminum foil, and a dollar bill. Instead of throwing it out, YOU FUCKING SMOKED THE REST OF THE METH.

This memory is so hazy I don't even know if the details are accurate. You lived at Denny's and had a major panic attack. You had been smoking cigarettes, weed, and drinking all day. Your chest started to get super tight and you felt like you were dying. To this day I don't even remember if this really happened, but I think you called dad. You told him you thought you were having a heart attack and asked what to do. Somehow you didn't end up going to the hospital, but you really thought you were going to die. How would dad have felt if he knew you were fucked up and wasted on drugs? How would he have felt if you did die and the autopsy revealed that you OD'd on something?

Remember syphoning gas from people's cars? Wow you really did it all didn't you? You worked a full-time job in construction and somehow managed to live like a fucking homeless person. That's almost impressive how stupid it is. I'm going to tell you your story about syphoning gas because its so retarded. And don't forget you were high the entire time.

You drove your car down an alley at around 2:00am and parked it about 300 feet from where you were going to syphon. You left the door cracked and the keys loosely in the ignition so you could get out fast if you had to. So, on you go carrying your gas jug and tubing until you get to some older vehicles because you can't syphon new vehicles. You stick your tube down into the gas tank and get some suction, and it starts flowing. Get your fill and its on to the next one. You're now at like your 3^rd car and you hear some rocks scatter, so you take your shit and bolt down the alley. But instead of leaving, you keep syphoning just further away. Eventually you hear another sound and bolt to your car, but the fucking door got closed by the wind. Wow you locked yourself out of your car and you're carrying a gas can, tubes, and your breath smells like gas. That was a great idea leaving the keys in the car to have a head start. You hear police sirens and throw the gas can over a fence into one yard, the hosing in another, and pull up planet fitness on your phone. The police blocked the alley and came up to you asking what you were doing. You told them you were lost and trying to go to the gym. But he smelled your breath then checked your pockets. And there was more tubing in your pockets that you forgot about. You got put in the back of a cop car and two people were talking to the police outside. You couldn't help but start crying because your entire life was a fuck up so far. Over the course of what seemed like an eternity, but was probably an hour, the police officer in the front seat was asking you questions like, "why are you doing this?", "Where are your parents?" etc. He got your full sob story, which was true, but a sob story anyways. Remember those rocks you heard shuffle in the beginning? Those were two separate people who caught your ass and they called the police. But lucky for you the cop you'd been talking to talked them into letting it all slide. You somehow didn't get into any trouble. I think you used all your life's luck in this moment. One of the men agreed not to press charges if he could speak with you. He said, "I heard some shit in my yard and saw a man messing with my car. So I got my gun and was going to shoot but then you ran down the street." Then the cop told you a quote that I still appreciate to this day, he said, "Son, there are two types of criminals, those in prison, and those who are not in prison yet. And you are not a very good criminal, So I suggest you drop all of this and leave it behind you." With that he let you out of the car and helped you unlock your car door. At least you learned from this and never stole again.

Writing this is a surreal experience. I've been sober for 3.5 years and looking at those old pictures of you I don't even know you. I say good riddance. You were a belligerent, thieving, sob story telling, deceiving, irresponsible, piece of shit. You did nothing to prepare me for the future. Writing this in 2^nd person isn't even weird because that's how un-alike we are. I get my bills paid on time, I have a good credit score, I am going to college and making good grades, I work full time, I have morals I stick to, I invest in my future, I am not perfect, but I'm 10x better than you ever were.