The Darkness Kills

Once upon a time in a cottage by the forest not far from here there lived a man with his two children, Hanzel and Gretel. The two children had been back for a couple of weeks after that they had been left in the forest by the man and his now deceased wife. The children had walked for miles searching for their way back home, but they couldn’t find it. They didn’t know where they were, and they didn’t know how to get back home to the cottage and their father and stepmother. As it came to be the children came upon a gingerbread house where a witch lived who tricked them into captivity to feed them up and then eat them. Fortunately, for our story to take place the children managed to flee the witch’s cottage and make it back home to their father, but not before they were both scarred for life, especially Gretel.

“Gretel… Gretel… GRETEL! Wake up it is just a dream.”

A dream. A nightmare. A nightmare of the time in the witch’s cottage. What did I do? I killed someone, but it was to save Hanzel’s life. But still, I did kill someone…

“It is not just a dream, Hanzel. It was real, we were there, are you still not there in your mind?”

“No, just move on. Dad needs us to help with the forestry tomorrow, we need to sleep. Just sleep quietly.”

It’s still dark. I can’t fall asleep again. I can’t have the same nightmare night after night. I just want to sleep. I want to rest. I want to forget. How could it be so easy for Hanzel to forget what we have been through? Why isn’t it as easy for me? Why can’t I just let it go? I wonder if Hanzel tells the truth. But then again, he seems fine, well rested and happy. He doesn’t have dark circles under his eyes or jump at every sound he hears. He has moved on. Maybe I should just not think about it anymore. Maybe that will help. But then, the nightmares, how do I control the nightmares?

Morning again. After nightfall the sun rises again and welcomes us to a new bright day. Maybe today is the day when I move on. It is a beautiful day after all, or is it? Isn’t it just a regular day just as all the other days? Maybe I don’t try enough. Maybe I must try harder to be okay. But how can you be okay after what happened?

“Daughter wouldn’t you make us some breakfast?”

“Yes, of course, I’ll make us some porridge and tea to go with it. Maybe a bit of bread and marmalade as well.”

Breakfast, I can make breakfast. That isn’t too difficult, and it doesn’t bring back memories of what the witch made me do. Father knows, he knows I have a difficult time, but he doesn’t mention it. Why, oh why, do I have to be so lonely in my suffering?

“Could I go with you today and help with the foresting father?”

“Eh, no, no, we won’t be needing you. Maybe you could clean out the house and just rest for the day? You look a little tired.”

“Oh, okay, yeah. Maybe I’ll go for a walk, just to get a little bit of fresh air, it should help.”

As Hanzel and their father took off for the forest to work. Gretel was yet again left alone at home to take care of the house and rest. What Gretel didn’t know was that Hanzel talked to their father about what had happened to them and got to process what the witch had done to them and what Gretel then had done to the witch. Hanzel had never seen such a side to his sweet little sister and had difficulties to talk to her. He didn’t know what to say or do around her anymore. She wasn’t the baby sister to him anymore. She had grown and she had changed. He didn’t know if the change was for the better or for the worse and it bugged him. How could he help her? She didn’t talk about it, just screamed her lungs out in the night as she had nightmares. Did he do what he could, or did he just try to protect himself by not talking to her?

“Father, do you really believe that Gretel is fine by herself? I’m worried about her. She doesn’t sleep. She has nightmares, terrible nightmares. I don’t know if I can deal with it any longer.”

“Hrmp. I bet she is alright. It will just take her a little longer to get around, alright. She is alone much, but she should be alright in a week or two. Just hang on in there, son.”

“You are probably right. But what if she is lonely? Maybe she needs someone who listens to her?”

“You shouldn’t think about it now Hanzel. You need to keep your head straight and not get yourself killed by a tree out here. Let’s get to work.”

Clean the house he said. Well this place is spotless as much as I clean it these days. Maybe he forgot that I cleaned yesterday when they went to work or maybe he just doesn’t care, as long as, I stay home when they leave. Cleaning the house is probably a reason for him to make me stay. Maybe I’ll go for that walk anyway. It’s been a while since I was by the lake last. It used to be so pretty there, the birds, flowers, butterflies. Maybe they are still there, and I just haven’t looked in a while. Are things as they used to be or do, I view them differently? Am I still the same person or have I changed? I shouldn’t be thinking about these things. Hanzel did tell me too move on as he has. Maybe that will make me happy again, to stop pondering about what happened and just move one like he has.

The walk down to the lake didn’t take long from their home. In a couple of minutes Gretel made it to the meadow by the lake and it was vibrant. The colour of the grass and flowers stung her eyes. The flowers where so bright and beautiful and the sun glimmered in the waters. But Gretel couldn’t appreciate the beauty of it all. Having gone through what she did with the witch and then Hanzel not wanting to talk about it with her she couldn’t cope, she couldn’t deal with what she had done even though it was to save Hanzel’s life and hers. Why did she feel so guilty about pushing the witch in the oven, she was going to kill them after all. But how do you cope with taking someone’s life? And the nightmares keeping her awake through the nights. She didn’t sleep, she didn’t eat, she only existed and had been for a while.

Sitting by the lake Gretel pondered about how her life changed that day. Was it worth to keep going if she had to feel like this? Would she feel better if she herself died, then maybe she could finally be free. She could meet her mother again. But what if her mother was angry with her for what she did. But maybe, just maybe her mother was proud that she saved her brother and that would be enough wouldn’t it? Gretel started to gather large rocks to fill her apron pockets. First one, it won’t be enough I will need a couple more to make sure it’s heavy enough. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. That should be enough I can hardly carry any more.

With her pockets full of heavy rocks Gretel started to walk towards the water. The sun was coming down over the treetops and she looked, into the sun for the last time and went into the water. The water was cold, so cold. She gasped for air as she went deeper into the lake. The water wasn’t as glimmering and welcoming anymore, it was dark and cold. She couldn’t feel the bottom with her tippy toes anymore. She was sinking. Gretel drew her last breath of air before she went under and sunk slowly. Dying was painful. Her chest felt as it was going to explode, she needed air, but she couldn’t get up above the water again. Slowly she was drowning and losing consciousness as her body was sinking to the bottom of the lake.