Stargazers

In the deep dead of night, its just me and you

Lying head to head, way we always do
Your bright eyes gaze up, you point overhead
Say "Look, Mommy! Stars are hanging over my bed!"
To me all those stars looked exactly the same
But you set me straight, said they all needed names
Mommy and Jordan, Lulu, Lolo and Fred
Were just a few of the stars that gleamed over your bed
Cheap dollar store stars that shone green in the gloom
But you said heaven was there in your bedroom
Time went too fast in the way that it will
So much life to be lived, so much time left to kill
But an error in judgement, just a moment of doubt
And on a dark road alone, all your time would run out
I couldn't live with your absence until I learned how
And although its different, I'll take it, so now...
In the deep dead of night, its still me and you
Lying on our backs, way we always do
Your eyes cannot see, so I point instead
Say "Look baby! stars are hanging over our head!"
I come to this place, to the tomb where you sleep
And lie down near you on the hard, cold concrete
The only place left where I am unencumbered
I am free and at peace in this place where you slumber
I call to you softly and I wait in the silence
For a breath, a whisper, for some sort of guidance
And though you're right there, I know you won't speak
Still I wait and I wait for the peace that I seek
The stars twinkle down from their place in the sky
And I smile to imagine that when you flew by
You had time to stop, meet them all one by one
That they bathed you in light, and sent you on to the Son
I watch them alone now, not afraid in the slightest
Cause I'm sure that one's you, the one shining the brightest.

Angela Ebanks, for my beloved Jordan, 1990 - 2013