Growing up in a religious home |
They told me when I was young ‘Baby girl, when you die God will judge you for everything you’ve done Listen up now, no one can be perfect But if you want to go to heaven you have to try’ ‘Cover your figure Don’t scar ink over your skin Your body is his temple Don’t muddy it with sin’ ‘Marry a God fearing man Be tender, be sweet, be mild Honey, it’s your righteous duty To bear him a child’ ‘Don’t covet thy neighbor’s wife Or any woman at all Don’t day dream about her smile Or her strong body, warm and tall’ ‘Keep your legs closed, girl This one you should know Sex is only between husband and wife Stay pure as the driven snow’ ‘Honor thy father and mother Always do as they say Faith is blind, child Expect only answering silence when you kneel to pray’ ‘Turn the other cheek Your bishop knows best Forgive all trespasses against you Even the atrocity of incest’ ‘Count your many blessings Name them one by one Then put your tenth in the bowl And hope that for your dinner you’ll find the funds’ ‘Read your scriptures every night Don’t lie or gamble or steal Wrap your individuality up in muted cloth Fake your smile until it’s real’ ‘Last thing, but listen close This is the most important one Repent for your sins and never repeat them The way out of hell is his only begotten son’ I cried myself to sleep at night Afraid my sins had turned me black as coal I hid my face in my pillow tight So I couldn’t see the shadows of branches on my bed Like demon fingers creeping up to snatch my soul I don’t cry for my salvation now Because I know it’s too late I’m too far gone and I don’t know how To cleanse my hard, filthy heart Of all the taint When you touch me Does it dirty your skin? When you look, can you see? Does it shimmer on my flesh like a brand? Am I good at hiding my darkness within? It’s not fair to ask There is only one way for this to go I need to peel off the mask Kneel at my feet, bow your head Will you pray for my soul? Baby, will you save my soul? Can I save my soul? 63 lines |