It
was the dead of night. There was no one here. Nothing but the sound
of my breaths. It was eerily silent, almost as if, the world was
watching me, inspecting my next move.
Sweat starts
trickling down my forehead. I could feel them; enticing me to let go.
I stared down to the valley of freedom, but only found a body of
water looking back at me. It wasn't as easy as I'd thought it'd
be.
Why? Why did I
have to fear it? There's nobody stopping me anymore, nobody to care
about my mistakes, nobody to count the amount of fuck ups I had. So
why? Why am I afraid to jump?
I looked around
me. There was nobody. No cars, no people, just the lights shining on
the road.
I turned towards
the midnight sky, the stars were shining today. A beautiful sight,
one that I hadn't seen ever since I came into the city. Maybe, I
just didn't notice it.
My palms started
to sweat. The railing felt slippery and cold. Yet, I tightened my
grip.
Just what was I
waiting for? There's nobody here! Yet again, I'm idle, a disgrace
of society, I can't even do a simple task right! Just jump damnit!
My legs were
quivering. A brush of wind breezed through me. It felt cold.
My hands
tightened their grip onto the ceiling.
Just let go
damnit! You can't see them again! She'll never let you see them
after what you did! You're an undeserving, worthless piece of trash
that can't even take care of your children! They wanted you to
change, but you were just too stubborn. What kind of fucking loser
are you?!
My eyes welled
up. Tears were flooding my vision. My mind is hazy. I feel... tired.
Was this all I
can do?
I hung my head in
shame. My leg, inching closer to the concrete edge.
I have nothing
left to lose. They are all gone. Everyone. So why? Why do I not want
to jump?
I climbed back to
the other side of the world, leaving behind a flurry of memories. I
sank downwards and fell onto the floor. I curled up into a ball,
sinking my head into my knees. I cried; shedding tears for the people
I love.
"I want to see
them again!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
"I want to see
them again..." I muttered through my wails.
The world was
silent, yet, its answer was loud. The world moved on, leaving us
behind. To run, is to stand still, yet I was moving backwards.
I'm sorry,
Stacy, Jack, I'm a wreck of a father, but I promise things will
change.
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