Hot Chelle Rae - Tonight Tonight

         This song starts with the following words:

         It's been a really really messed up week
         Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter
         My girlfriend cheated on me;
         She's a California kind, it's not up to me to quit her.

         It sure has been a messed up week for this guy; he has been tortured and bitter for seven days, due to his girlfriend cheating on him. It goes on to say that she's the California kind and that it's not up to him to quit her.

         I can surely understand these feelings; it's a terrible thing to be cheated upon. Guys are taught not to cry, but geez, in this case, he has every right to be fearful. Here he has someone he cares about (his girlfriend), whom he trusts, and finding out that she's been cheating on him. He goes on to say that it's not up to him to quit her, being that she's the California kind. It appears that he's willing to stay with her regardless, just because she's from California, and that's just what they do. This is giving license that it's okay for her to keep doing what she's doing. I realize that a person can do what they want to, but, to me, it's a trust factor issue. Once your trust is broken, it's really hard to regain back that trust. The hurt that's felt is overwhelming, to say the least. I would think that the hurtful part of this kind of action would put someone into a state of oblivion. This would mean that her heart isn't into this guy, obviously, otherwise, she wouldn't be cheating on him; her mind is focused on another guy or perhaps guys.

         Playing over and over again in my head, the word cheating would have a devastating effect on me. My first husband, Derrick Nelson Hollingsworth (fictional name), had done this many times to me before I found out. I had no tolerance for that; I ended up leaving him and divorced him later. From my observation, I've heard the remark from men that a breakup was okay with them; I would often hear them say that there was other fish in the sea (meaning that they can get another woman anytime). It's hard for me to believe that this is true. I really think that they have feelings also; they just have a hard time showing it.

         During my second marriage, my husband, Henry Jackson Ford (fictional name), due to him not taking his medication for a mental disability, there was a period of time, a few years of silence, when we hardly spoke a word to each other. He was a drug user, alcoholic, and a heavy chain smoker as well. During this period of time, I did the deed and cheated on him. We were like strangers in our own home. My friends told me how perfect they thought I said I was. The truth was that I never claimed that I was; I make mistakes as well as anyone else. The effects from my first marriage hit me hard, especially when I caught him in our car making out with another woman, so, yes, I felt the pain of being tortured and bitter, however, I didn't hold that against all men, like the majority of women do. Years later, I got divorced.

         The words in this song that says the following:

         I don't know if I'll make it, watch how good I'll fake it.

         These words say a lot about me; even though I was deeply hurt, I had to fake it (by putting on a good front) that I was doing okay, when, in fact, I wasn't.

         The words are as follows:

         We can get crazy, let it all out.

         This pertained to me at various times; I would put on a record or tape and sing and dance, acting silly, pretending that I was on stage, in front of a live audience of people.

         The words are as follows:

         It's my body, dance if I want to.

         Dancing felt good to me, relieving my frustrations in lots of ways.

         I'll end this story by saying that I enjoyed listening to the music and watching the video; I definitely related to this song.


Written by Anna Marie Carlson
Thursday, July 9, 2020