Kleptomaniac

Kleptomaniac
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Tamio lay back and stared at the ceiling of Professor Matsumoto’s consulting chamber in Osaka, Japan. All his life he had worked diligently toward his future. The life that he wanted to build with Eiko, his childhood sweetheart, his promising career at Sumitomo; and now that future was at stake.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Tamio,” Professor Matsumoto said as he flipped once again through all the test reports. “Absolutely nothing physically,” the doctor diagnosed, “you’re as strong as a horse and mentally you might even be a genius. You have everything going for you and yet…,” the professor paused, and both doctor and patient withdrew into silent contemplation.

“I’ve tried. I’ve done everything that is in my power to do, but this… this thing continues to control me.” Tamio was close to tears. “Help me professor, I’ll do anything. Please!”

“There might be a way, but it’s experimental.” Professor Matsumoto played nervously with his bifocals. “The risks are great and I really won’t recommend it, you may not be able to return.”

“Return from where?” Tamio asked, his eyes lighting up as he realized that he was probably being handed a lifeline.

“From your past,” said the professor in a hushed voice." Your problem lies in the deep dark chambers of time."

“I’ll do it. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” Tamio exclaimed as he sat up on the couch with eyes wide open. “I’ll tell you everything about my past in detail, if you want.”

Professor Matsumoto took out a soft cloth and cleaned his bifocals. “Tell me about your personal history. Tell me more specifically about your addictions and deep urges, your psychological history, if you will.”
Tamio was an accountant at the Sumitomo Mitsui Financial Group. He had come up through Japan’s rigorous education system and had done rather well for himself. Gradually he had risen up in the organization. Tamio took off the jacket of his grey business suit, loosened his tie and sat back to think. He put his hands on his forehead and slowly massaged his solar plexus.

Then, very slowly, inaudibly, Tamio started speaking, as if he was admitting to a great crime in strict confidence. “The only thing is,” he paused to think. “I’ve had this urge to steal since I was a kid. Not all the time. It just happens; something outside of me takes control and then I just can’t help it. I steal.”

It had been going on for as long as Tamio could remember. First it was small change from his father’s purse. Enough to buy himself a dragon kite. Then, he got into the habit of stealing study notes from his class mates. Over the years it had become quite bad. He had begun to steal CD's from his friends, cutlery from hotel rooms and at least one precious stone from Eiko’s collection. She would have willingly given him all that he had ever wanted; she was so much in love with him. These urges to steal were temporary. They soon passed and Tamio would become quite normal again. Then he would be filled with remorse and self-loathing. Without warning, the urge would return once again and consume him in its flames.

What he hadn’t mentioned to Professor Matsumoto was that he was being led onto bigger things. Over a period of a year, he had removed thirty million yen from the company accounts. In his normal and sane moments he realized that it was only a matter of time before Audit would start asking questions. In his periods of remorse, he had even contemplated suicide. Even ‘that’ was preferable to the loss of face and certain dismissal from Sumitomo. He couldn’t imagine how he had stolen from Eiko, his sweet Eiko. He would die without her. As the force grew bigger, it hissed and laughed at him. Sometimes it manifested itself into a terrible form and danced in front of him shooting imaginary balls of fire. Tamio was petrified. It was only a matter of time before Tamio was fully transformed.

“I didn’t mean the past that you do know about. Have you heard of past life regression?" Professor Matsumoto asked. Seeing the blankness in Tamio’s eyes he continued. “I think…,” he paused while playing with his bifocals. “No, I’m almost certain that your problem lies somewhere in one of your past lives. I don’t know which one. To know this, you will have to regress in time and find out for yourself. Are you ready to do that?”

“ How on earth do I do that? I don’t remember past lives.” Tamio was incredulous.

“Do you at least believe,” the good professor continued, “that you have had past lives?”

“ Well, I’m a Buddhist, so that concept is not beyond my beliefs. You really think I can go back to another life?” Tamio asked.

“Only if you are not afraid of death,” Professor Matsumoto said with some finality. "Come back in two days. I’ll have something for you.”

For the next two days, Tamio was restless at work. What did the professor mean when he talked about death? He asked himself this question a thousand times. He saw his present life float past many times. He rewound it, put it on fast forward, played it in slow motion and still he couldn’t find the reason. He was afraid to meet Eiko and so he lied to her about being held up at work. Work? He couldn’t think straight. How could he work? He needed to think. And, he needed to get it off his system. But first, he had to talk to Eiko and tell her everything. He valued her advice and her guidance.

He found Eiko at home in a pretty kimono making tea. He kept his briefcase near the doorway and without saying anything went and held Eiko tight and wouldn’t let her go. Surprised, Eiko looked up into his eyes and found him crying. She put her hand on his face and wiped his tears. She knew something was dreadfully wrong. She made Tamio sit on the sofa. She sat next to him and gently guided his head to rest on her lap. Tamio burst out crying uncontrollably and Eiko let him cry as she stroked his disheveled hair on her lap in silence till his sobbing ebbed.

Tamio sat up, held Eiko by the shoulder and told her the whole story. It came out in a torrent of words and emotion. He couldn’t stop; all the remorse, self-loathing and torment gushed out like lava from a volcano. As Tamio’s words flowed, Eiko closed her eyes and held his hand and travelled inward. Her intuition told her that there were other external forces at work. She couldn’t tell what exactly they were but she understood that they were surrounded by dark forces. Tamio told her about his periodic urges to steal. And finally, he told her about the thirty million yen that he had removed from the account.

“Where have you kept that money?” Eiko asked. “Is it still in the company or have you taken it outside?”

“I transferred it to an internal ‘suspense’ account and it is still lying there untouched,” Tamio replied.

“So, it’s still there! You go back to office tonight and transfer it right back and make it right.” Eiko told him firmly.
“You are lucky that you haven’t removed the money outside. Own up to your misdemeanor. That will be the first act of your transformation. Do what is right. Hope that the company is lenient. Then we will fight the dark forces together.”

It was late at night but Tamio rushed back to office. He told the security staff that he had left something important behind in his office. They checked his security credentials and let him in. Tamio went back to his work desk, turned on his PC and searched for the ‘suspense’ account. The money was still sitting there untouched. He used his password, entered into the financial operating system and reversed the transaction back to the original position. He then sent an email to his superior requesting a leave of absence for the next three days. Relieved, he closed his computer and walked into the warm night.

It was close to midnight when he returned home. Eiko was waiting for him with warm meal. “There is something that I have not told you too, Eiko said while serving white rice into his bowl. “I have attained through meditation and rituals the powers of a medium. I have learnt to communicate with the spirits of the dead in other dimensions and realms. Your actions are the results of your karma. But, you can get out this cycle in this lifetime. It is possible.”

“How is this possible?” Tamio asked. “What do I have to do?”

“The cycle stops only if liberation is achieved by insight and the extinguishing of desire,” Eiko said. “Now listen carefully too what I have to say. You and I will do this together” Eiko then explained to him philosophical tenets of the ancient order and Tamio listened mindfully with concentration.

“All life is in a continuous cycle of death and rebirth called samsara. This cycle is something you should strive to escape from. The escape from samsara leads you to nirvana or enlightenment. Once nirvana is achieved, and the enlightened individual physically dies, you are no longer reborn and finally escape the cycle of multiple life and death. You are enlightened to see the world as it really is. When you die your energy passes into another form and you live on in other’s memories by your actions. This is karma or your intentional actions. Good actions, ethical conduct, development of wisdom and higher consciousness lead the way to enlightenment and a better future. The Buddha set out the eightfold path of good actions. Being born a human being is itself a result of good action and gives a rare opportunity to work towards escaping this cycle of samsara. There are multiple paths and choices and one must choose wisely. One path may lead to wealth; another may lead to nirvana or enlightenment.”

“Take the more difficult path, Tamio. Seek wisdom. Raise your insight and consciousness,” Eiko told him. “In my meditation I have seen you mired in samsara, helplessly trudging your way through multiple lives. I also saw some dark energy always following you and affecting you. This energy has had many merits from previous good deeds but has been overtaken by evil. It has a strange attraction for you though it is no longer on the path of wisdom. It tries to draw from your merits. There will be a time when the balance sets in. But, right now, you will have to transform yourself and face the consequences of your actions.”
Tamio was thoughtful. He had many questions that flashed through his mind. “Eiko, it is in the nature of human beings to stride in both worlds, the good and the not so good. Things are never purely black and white. Most of life is lived in the grey areas dictated by situations and circumstances. We don’t talk about the darker side; but it’s there.”

“You are right,” Eiko agreed. “Life is complex. However, I am talking about the dominant element of your personality.”

“In this life, whatever I do seems to be part of accumulated karma of past lives. There are others that influence or sometimes dictate my actions and am sure have done so in the past. I seem to have no control over that. But, the consequences of my past actions, if I actually did those things, now affect me directly in this life. This is very unfair!” Tamio concluded, vigorously shaking his head. ”This is very unfair! It doesn’t make logical sense.”

“You have accumulated merits from your good actions and demerits from your bad actions. Someone and I suspect the dark energy associated with you, has had many accumulated merits for a long time through many lives which make him immune to the demerits from his dark deeds when he changed course,” Eiko pondered. “It does ultimately catch up and it will. But for you Tamio, you have to immediately start the process of transformation. I will guide you with my insights into the spirit world,”

“I must have done something good to have found someone like you Eiko,” Tamio embraced Eiko and held her close. Eiko reciprocated. They were going to do this together.

Tamio told Eiko that he wanted to start the transformation by taking the blessings and imbibing the wisdom of Mount Fujiyama. “I’ll donate all my savings to the shrine near the summit. It will be a good start to my new life.”

Eiko nodded in agreement. “Go to Mount Fuji and be one with his spirits. Let them give you renewed energy and the power of wisdom. But first I will draw in positive universal energy and transfer it to you through the rituals of Tantra. This will neutralize the parasitic dark force.”

Eiko switched off the lights. She poured aromatic oil into a bowl, lit incense sticks and candles and laid a tatami mat on the floor. The room was bathed in warm candle light and as light white incense smoke rose from the incense sticks in slow motion and made random patterns in the air, the room was immersed in a sweet smell. She drew her husband towards her and held him closely putting her head on his shoulder. She guided him to breathe deeply in rhythm while they stood on their feet in each other’s arms. She put the palm of her left hand over his heart and he put his left palm on her heart. Their heartbeats synchronized and they breathed in and out together; a deep inhalation, holding the breath inside for a while, followed by a deep exhalation. She deliberately slowed everything down and even the embrace extended for an eternity. Eiko then removed Tamio’s clothes and her own and neatly folded them and kept them in the corner of the room. Naked, they embraced again in the dancing candle light and stood still on their feet, in each other’s arms.

Slowly, Eiko made Tamio sit cross legged on the Tatami floor mat. She applied the aromatic oil all over his body. She applied the oil in the region of his prostate glands below his genitals and Tamio responded to her touch, eyes closed and the mind’s eye wide open. Suddenly his energy levels were activated and he could feel a warm tingling motion rising from below his genital region. Tamio kept totally still, sitting cross-legged in the lotus position while Eiko went around him applying the oil and caressing him all over his body. Then, she came around and sat cross legged in lotus position opposite Tamio.
She put her index finger on his fore head between his eyebrows and went into meditation. Tamio focused on his forehead where Eiko had touched and with his inner eye he followed the ebb and flow of his breath like watching waves on the seashore. A connection had been set up between the two. They were physically aware and spiritually present, feeding each other energy that continued to grow. They were in perfect synchrony and the pathway for the flow of energy had been formed to weave streams of energy into their mind and body. As Eiko and Tamio meditated, their breathing subsided and energy started to flow in. Eiko took the lead and controlled the flow making, the energy spread throughout the body, giving strength. She made the energy flow downward towards the base of the spine and outward back to the earth itself.

While Tamio sat cross-legged in the lotus position, Eiko rose slowly, sat on Tamio’s upper thighs and crossed her ankles behind his back. They wrapped their arms tightly around one another and pressed their bodies against each other and when their skin touched and moved they were bathed in feelings of intimacy and expanding energy. Holding him closely they stared into each other’s eyes and breathed in synchrony and harmony. She stroked her hands slowly over his body and kissed him below his ears and on his mouth. She let him use his tongue to explore her mouth and breasts while she continued to kiss him. She found that Tamio was physically aroused and ready for the next stage. Eiko raised herself and pushed herself forward on his lap and arched herself back till he was inside of her and they were physically enjoined. She stroked him gently and brought him close to climax but with a firm and deft massage at a Ki spot, she made him withdraw at the last moment. Slowly and gently she rubbed down Tamios’ Muladhara or root chakra energy center on his prostate gland while she guided him to another Ki energy spot making him stroke the upper wall of her vagina letting the heat and energy build up.

She used light feathery touches and soft body movements to bring him to near climax again, only to make him withdraw. She did this in Tantra style fifteen times over the next hour and Tamio’s senses were slowly and intensely heightened building him to a peak but not taking him all the way. They had been physically united for more than an hour. She would take them both to the edge of a wild orgasm, then pull back right before climax again and again. While the tingling, orgasmic sensations filled their bodies, they would start the cycle again till primal energy was bursting to explode. This was the energy of creation, birth and life itself; energy that was brighter than a thousand suns.

And then, in synchrony, energies of both bodies exploded as the universal energy flowed in from outside through the Ventromedial Prefrontal Cortex of the brain between the eyebrows on the forehead through the crown chakra, swirling through the medulla oblongata and into the spinal cord and the neural system. Starting from the head where the sensory perception starts, travelling downwards through the seven chakra energy centers of the body through which Ki energy flows. Ki energy is the unseen life force in the body, the universal energy that penetrates and pervades everywhere uniting all the manifestations of the universe, visible or invisible. Eiko and Tamio’s Ki flowed like the volcanic lava of Mount Fuji starting from the crown chakra, the third eye chakra between the eyebrows, flowing down through the throat chakra, the heart chakra, the solar plexus chakra above the navel, the sacral chakra below the navel, exploding as a blinding light through the energy centers and finally flooding the root chakra at the base of the spine that grounds us to the earth. The flow of concentrated energy downward and the explosion of sexual energy lifted Eiko and Tamio, their bodies still enjoined in their sitting position, off the ground. They rose above the tatami mat and hovered three feet above the ground, floating on the cushion of energy below them as they levitated. As they radiated energy together and became one with the universal energy and consciousness, dark energies cowered in far corners and dared not come into the bright white light that flashed like lightening. Bathed in light, they felt a sense of calmness and freedom. They had experienced the ultimate release and the force was with them. Tamio had taken the first steps to break out of the cycle of samsara.
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Tamio was sure that trekking up Mount Fujiyama would be good for him mentally, physically and spiritually. Tamio remembered Eiko studying the 12th-century text Shozan engi. She had recited the text to him. “The sacred places on the mountains are the dwelling sites of the divinities and immortals and, those who tread those spaces and cross these rivers must think that each drop of water, each tree of these mountains is a drug of immortality, even if they suffer from a heavy past of misdeeds.” Tamio knew that destiny was taking him Mount Fujiyama. He wanted to climb alone at night and avoid the crowds of daytime climbers. It was a spiritual place and he wanted to cleanse himself of his dark thoughts. That Saturday, Tamio took the high speed Bullet train toward Mount Fujiyama which is near Tokyo in the East of Japan. A three-hour train ride from Osaka took him there.

Mount Fuji has been sculpted by millennia of volcanic eruptions into graceful symmetry. Up close, Mount Fuji is a scorched sea of volcanic ash. However, underneath its silent beauty simmers a destructive force, a reminder that humanity is beholden to forces of nature physical and beyond. Stretching 12,388 feet tall and forged over millions of years, Mount Fuji is the highest mountain in Japan, its iconic cone the result of three major eruptions. From ancient times, Fuji was considered home to divinities and has a special place in Japanese culture as a spiritual home. It has been venerated by poets and artists as the ultimate ideal of perfection, worshipped as the abode of gods, feared as a dwelling for the dead, and ascended by those seeking transcendence.

Mount Fuji is said to be home to kami, or spirits, who have the power to control elements like fire and water. With the adoption of Buddhism, mountains were promoted as ideal spaces to meditate, seek solitude, and practice asceticism. Over time, rituals shifted to focus on the cultivation of self, and climbing became a form of worship. New “mountain religions” that combined elements of Buddhism, Taoism, and Shintoism emerged during the eighth century, and encouraged pilgrimage as a path to transcendence. They believed one could cross the boundary between the sacred and profane on the ascent, and then carry the sacred back to the world beneath. Physical toil serves as a form of atonement and the process of reaching the summit is elevated above the actual moment of summiting. A practitioner of Shugen-dō, one of these early mountain-based faiths, was called yamabushi, or “one who bows down in the mountains.” Through climbing, they believed they would attain spiritual powers to ward off evil spirits.

Even though it was already evening Tamio prepared to climb the mountain through the night. He had chosen the more difficult Subashiri Trail going up. He had brought with him a light backpack with some food, warm clothes and shoe gaiters to prevent rocks from entering his shoe. He turned on a headlamp to see the trail in the dark, spread a pair of hiking sticks and started his ascent up the trail strewn with volcanic rock. He walked solo for an hour in the dark hard savoring his personal experience and mindful walk. Then the weather suddenly changed; it started raining and the wind began to blow. Tamio walked on regardless. He walked all night over the volcanic rock and ashes. This was his spiritual pilgrimage. After five hours of strenuous walking, Tamio passed the 8th Station and stopped to rest and have a warm meal inside the Goraikoukan Hut. This hut is the starting point for the last stretch to the summit where the Subashiri trail meets the Yoshida trail. The Yoshida trail is the easier and more popular trail and the first crowds had already begun their journey to the summit.

Warmed up and rested, Tamio joined the other climbers on the final stretch with many panting in pain in the pre-dawn dark. After another half an hour Tamio looked back and saw thousands of people snaking up with their headlamps on and it looked and felt like a pilgrimage with everyone carrying a lantern. It was a moving stream of light snaking its way upwards towards the skies. Then the ground disappeared underneath the clouds and a reverent silence blanketed the mountainside as the sun gilded the summit in pale, diaphanous light. It was goraiko - the sunrise from Mount Fuji. When the sun rose, hundreds of people rose with their hands in the air and chanted in unison. Banzai! Banzai! Banzai! Three times they cheered to the rising sun and it echoed off the top of the volcano. Tamio joined in their collective ritual and chanted with them. His heart filled with courage and confidence as he saw the sun come up. He was ready. It was a life threatening project that he was embarking on with Professor Matsumoto and he wanted an auspicious start. There could not be anything more auspicious than watching the rising sun on top of Mount Fuji.

He walked to the Fujisan Hongū Sengen Taisha, the sacred Shinto shrine on top of Mount Fuji and sat down to meditate and offer prayers. The peace and tranquility of the shrine, the snow tipped cone of Mount Fuji and the thought of a cherry blossom paradise calmed his soul. He took out all the money he had in his back pack and gave it to the priest of the shrine. The ‘giving’ felt good. Then he walked the final half-hour upwards to the Kengamine Peak, the true summit of Mount Fuji and also the summit of the Fujinomiya Trail. He stood there completely still for a short while though it seemed like an eternity. The climb had been back breaking. He was tired. He was completely spent of all his physical energy but he felt mentally strong. He felt cleansed. He thought of his Tantra experience with Eiko and the energy began flowing once again. The benign kami spits of Mount Fuji flooded his mind and body and he felt a sense of renewal. From deep within himself he realized that he was ready to undertake the most difficult journey of his life. The uncertainties and doubts of the past had gone. He could feel the sunshine and the rainbow.

“Ohayo-gozaimasu,” Professor Matsumoto greeted him with a good morning as Tamio entered his chambers. “We begin today.” Professor Matsumoto made Tamio relax in the couch in his chambers while he prepared himself. “I will hypnotize you and take you back, okay? Only this time we will go back further. Are you prepared?”

Tamio nodded and the professor gently swung the pendulum in front of him. Tamio felt drowsy and a sense of deep slumber came over him. It seemed as professor Matsumoto was holding his hands and leading and guiding him to some strange place through a dark tunnel. Tamio saw his life flash by in reverse order. He saw his friends, his parents and his sister. He was back in college and then at his school. He saw himself at his first day at play school and then as a toddler as he travelled back in time. He saw himself suckling his mother’s breast. He normally didn’t remember himself as a baby, but there he was. Suddenly, he was a few months old, in a crib with a lot of older people laughing and making strange sounds with a rattle. It was quite irritating. Then, he was a fetus in his mother’s womb. Everything was dark and he could hear the sound of her heartbeat. There was a sense of free falling through a vacuum till he found himself floating in the dark waters of a strange ocean. He looked below and saw a soft glow. There was light emerging from what he thought was the end of a dark tunnel and he saw a strange sight.

He was hovering above someone lying on the floor that had just had a violent death. There was blood splashed all over the floor. A severed head was staring up at him with glazed dead eyes. He could see another person kneeling next to the body in deep prayer and there was a samurai sword in his hands. Tamio cried out as he felt an excruciating pain in his abdomen. And then he was back in the professor's chambers, cold sweat dripping from his forehead.

“You are in shock,” the professor was telling him. “What did you see?”

“I saw death and felt great pain,” Tamio said slowly as he rose from the couch. Then the realization dawned on him. He had seen himself in death in his past life.

“That’s the first barrier,” Professor Matsumoto was explaining to him. “In regression, each of your life’s journeys will start with death as you regress to your birth. Once again you will start with death as you go through another past life. It is the wheel of life in reverse order. Are you really up to it? We can stop and not go back again.”

“The dead person did not look anything like me.” Tamio whispered. His hands were still shaking as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“In your previous life you were born to different parents,” Professor Matsumoto laughed for the first time. The tension was getting to him too. “You will know, you will feel. The energy is the same. The physical material body dies, but your energy ….that is pure energy that transforms but does not die. It can only merge with the source of the energy. So I take it that you want to do it again, huh?”

“Yes. I’ve been there once and I’ll go there again, I believe, this time on a longer journey. So help me,” Tamio replied.

Professor Matsumoto helped himself to some Japanese sea-weed delicacy and waved him off. “Come back tomorrow in the evening after work. We’ll try again.” Tamio left the good professor hard at work on his computer updating a case study for a ground breaking presentation to the Society of Psychiatry. Tamio slowly made his way home. The image of the severed head followed him all the way home and into his sleep as he dreamed a violent dream of heads being decapitated and samurai swords flashing in the air.

Tamio couldn’t wait for the evening to arrive. He packed off early from work and went straight to the Professor’s chamber.

“Konbanwa, professor,” Tamio greeted him with a good evening. Without much ado, the professor began the session.

“Relax,” he whispered as he gently swung his pendulum. “I am taking you back. …back …..you are on your way back from where you began……back…….,” the professor’s voice became softer and softer and it appeared as if he was receding and speaking from a distance. And then he faded away as Tamio’s present life started rewinding like a videotape; only this time, Tamio did a fast track on his present life and dove in through a strange deep ocean and emerged through a mist. He journeyed backwards over the same path that he had taken before and was floating past, when he suddenly felt the urge to hover.

His curiosity got the better of him and he wanted to see how exactly he had died in his previous life. He hovered around and waited. Time stopped for a while. This was Meiji Japan. He was Ishikawa, a samurai who had joined the great zaibatsu. Wait a moment. There, he was being thrown out in disgrace for stealing from the tax coffers. He saw himself stagger out of the city walls of Kyodo. He couldn’t bear it. He called his only friend, Yamaguchi, to help him commit Seppuku an ancient Japanese ritual suicide by disembowelment, practiced to restore honor for the person and his family.

As the sun went down over the horizon, after a period of deep meditation for atonement, Ishikawa took a small dagger and sat down on the cold stone floor. Ever the faithful friend, Yamaguchi stood behind him his sharp samurai sword raised. With both hands he plunged the dagger into his abdomen and then cut sideways deep into his body. Before he could fall, Yamaguchi swung his sword. The samurai sword came down from the right in a smooth circular arch and with one smooth swing, severed his head from his body. This was the way of the samurai.

Tamio did not feel any pain. He became Ishikawa and continued his journey. This was only the beginning. Life began to flash backwards at great speed and sometimes all that he saw was a blur. Sometimes it was hazy and at other times it was crystal clear. Sometimes the backward march of time would slow down and then would accelerate again. It came to a standstill when he found his mother giving him a hot bath and then serving him his favorite teriyaki dish. Tamio felt a familiar vibration. Then he knew who this was. He was sure. This was a sympathetic vibration of familiar energy. This was his very own Eiko who was going to become his wife in a future life. No wonder he had felt so comfortable with her. They had known each other in their past lives. Then she was his mother and now, in his present life, she was his wife. Then the image was gone and his life passed by in a blur of fading memories, of wars, conspiracies, horses, bows, arrows and Mount Fuji. There was always Mount Fuji standing by as a sentinel to history.

As he entered another dark tunnel, he was expecting to start with another death. Instead, he hovered over strange grassland. He instinctively knew where this was. He had definitely been here before. From a distance a hundred Sioux warriors charged into a column of blue uniformed soldiers. Tamio was relieved. At least this time he would die an honorable death in battle. Then he realized that this was not to be. He saw an image of a tepee and a woman in buckskin, hands tied as a prisoner. A man dragged her outside. There was sheer terror in her eyes, terror that touched Tamio as he hovered above. She was him. “Oh no, not again!” he thought.

He clearly felt and understood that he was a woman in that birth and that woman was going to die. As the knife flashed Tamio flew further into the past, over the great lakes and into a Sioux village where he paused for a while. He felt a sense of pleasure as a handsome man made love, slowly and gently. Tamio remembered the sexuality and pleasure of being a woman. He felt complete. Then there was chaos and commotion in the tepee as a woman rushed in and pulled him off her. Then he knew, she has stolen again, this time she had stolen a married man. He had seen enough and decided that his problems lay further in the past. He had to get to the source.

He journeyed back into the darkness of the womb, into nothingness and emerged beyond. A riotous crowd jeered in the Bastille square as the guillotine dropped and sliced his head into a bucket. He was in France in the middle of the French revolution and next to him, the city’s mayor had just been beheaded. Once again he thought he was being given a punishment for stealing, but as he went back he heard a woman calling out to him.

“Jean Pierre,” Sophie shouted out as he was dragged out of prison. “They’ve found the man who stole the crown jewels. They know it was not you. You have been pardoned. They are on their way with the papers.”

“Liberty, equality, fraternity,” the crowd brayed. “We are the children of the revolution. Kill the aristocrats. Kill the blood suckers, kill kill,” the crowd shouted and surged. They dragged him down the prison steps.

“It's too late,” Tamio thought. “Sorry Sophie, to leave you behind. Look after little Paul.” He screamed as he was dragged away.

“It was Doctor Delacroix,” Sophie was breathless. “Your very own doctor Delacroix; he framed you.”

She clutched at his shirt as he was dragged up toward the guillotine. “This man is innocent,” she pleaded to the crowd.” He has been pardoned. They’ve found the real thief.” Sophie shouted out to the crowd in despair but it fell on deaf ears. The mob wanted the blood of aristocrats and here he was.

“Kill. Kill the aristos,” they screamed. The mob surged and Sophie’s pleading was drowned out in a sea of terror and human sweat. This was the revolution. Equality! Liberty! Fraternity! It was the birth of civilization in extreme violence, in blood, gore and collective madness. The sharp angled edge of the guillotine was waiting to be dropped.

This time, Tamio knew what had happened. He had absorbed someone else's karma. He was being killed as a thief. As the executioner picked up his head from the bucket, held it by the hair, the crowd roared and shrieked in triumph. Jean Pierre was gone, his life had ended violently and it was time to move back again. He hovered for a while over Bastille square and made his way over the Seine and the Notre-Dame cathedral. Then it was a blur again with flashes of half formed images and glimpses into a life long gone.

It was a beautiful summer afternoon in Grenoble. He was fishing with his son Paul and Sophie was unpacking the picnic basket.

“Come on you men,” Sophie was saying. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“Famished,” Jean Pierre was saying while Paul was getting caught in his own fishing line.

A gentle breeze started blowing over the waters and the sunflowers danced and joined in the laughter and in the enjoyment of the moment. Tamio felt peace at last. He closed his eyes and entered the tunnel for the last time.

“I thought you were dead, welcome back,” he heard Professor Matsumoto saying to him as he opened his eyes. He was back in the good doctor’s chambers. “You were gone a long while. I told you, this procedure’s dangerous. I wasn’t expecting you back this time. I’d given up hope.”

Tamio sat up and stretched himself. “I feel great,” he said. In fact I have never felt better. I feel as if a great burden has been lifted. Doctor, if only you had seen what I saw. But, I have to go back further for one last time. I have to be sure.”

“Do you have a death wish Tamio?” Professor Matsumoto exclaimed. “You might not be able to come back again. I will not recommend it. I am losing control over the process myself. There is something coming back with you that has started affecting me. Don’t do it.”

“I must,” Tamio said. “There is something affecting me too. I have to test it and find out. I cannot go living life as I have been. If I die, I lose nothing. I am beyond that now. I have to go, so help me.”

“You are exhausted now and need to take complete rest. Come back in a week and we will do this a final time,” Professor Matsumoto reluctantly agreed.

Tamio returned home to the loving arms of Eiko. After they had made gentle love, Tamio asked her if he should go back one more time and make the dangerous journey. Eiko sat down and went into meditation. When she emerged she told him that she did not see the dark energies attacking this time. They seemed to have gone out of their lives for good.

“I think you can try going back again,” Eiko said. “No harm will come to you. I have had visions that the spirits of Mount Fuji are protecting you.”

Back in Professor Matsumoto’s chamber, Tamio arrived to find a very reluctant doctor. “You should not go back,” the Professor insisted. “I will not have a death on my hands. This method is experimental in any case, it is not approved by the professional body.”

“I’ll sign whatever you want me to sign Professor,” Tamio pleaded. “You’ll have to do this for the last time. No more, I promise.” Tamio did not understand why he was so reluctant having done the procedure a number of times. Little did he understand the forces that were at work. Professor Matsumoto finally agreed and asked Tamio to lie down on the couch. He gave him a purple potion to drink that made him drowsy. And then, with the rhythm of the swinging pendulum, Tamio was on his way again retracing his lives. The journey was faster this time through familiar sights, thoughts and emotions. When he reached the point of his last journey he seemed to accelerate through a worm hole.

Within a very short span of time he had gone back two thousand years. He flew over a river valley and the ground rose on the far side of the valley. Suddenly he remembered that he had been here before. This was the Mayan city state of Quirigua in south-eastern Guatemala where he had lived for many years two thousand years ago. He had lived there in the pre-Columbian era under the rule of the powerful ruler of the adjoining city of Copán, Uaxaclajuun Ubʼaah Kʼawiil, also known as ‘18 Rabbit’. Positioned on the north bank of the lower reaches of the Motagua River, Quiriguá was situated at the point where the valley broadens into a flood plain. King ‘18 Rabbit’ of Copan had installed a vassal king Kʼakʼ Tiliw Chan Yopaat, also known as ‘Kawak Sky’. But, in a significant turn of events the vassal king Kawak Sky ambushed and captured his overlord King ’18 Rabbit’ of Copan and went on to become the greatest leader of the ancient Maya city-state of Quiriguá ruling for thirty eight years.

Tamio arrived and saw the defeated and captured King ‘18 Rabbit’ being dragged from Copan past the acropolis into the central open plaza in the city center where he was placed on a stone platform. The newly anointed King Kawak Sky sat on an elevated thrown accompanied by his queen. Crowds had gathered in the plaza and waited to see the ritual Mayan sacrifice. They wanted to see blood spilled. The Head Priest made a small cut on the victim’s neck and put his blood on his tongue. The crowd howled.

During the pre-Columbian era, human sacrifice in Maya culture was the ritual offering of nourishment to the gods. Blood was viewed as a potent source of nourishment for the Maya deities, and the sacrifice of a living creature was a powerful blood offering. The sacrifice of a human life was the ultimate offering of blood to the gods, and the most important Maya rituals culminated in human sacrifice. The sacrifice of an enemy king was the most prized offering, and such a sacrifice involved decapitation of the captive ruler

“Aapo, come here,” the Head Priest called out to him. “It is your honor and great privilege to behead King ’18 Rabbit’.” As an assistant priest, it was Aapo’s sacred duty to perform the ritual beheading. There was no option. In Mayan culture, this was one of the greatest of good deeds he could perform to satisfy the Gods. The Head Priest handed over a long sword to him. While two other assistant priests held the defeated king’s body Aapo raised the sword high above his head and beheaded the man beneath his feet. The Head Priest raised the head by the hair and the crowd roared.

Having done his duty, Aapo stood back. His head was swimming and he was soaked in blood. The Head Priest then took his knife and cut through the ribs and extracted the still beating heart. He looked to the heavens and the sun and drank the blood. The assistant priests then cut chunks of the victim’s flesh and ate the pieces as part of the ritual sacrifice. They had all done the highest good that their culture permitted for the greater glory of God.

Tamio could feel Appo’s heartbeat as it was his own. Instinctively he could also feel the energy of the Head Priest. He seemed very familiar; in fact he felt many lifetimes of familiarity. Tamio connected with Aapo. This time, he was not dying, he was getting blessed by the Head Priest and the King. People were falling at his feet. The crowds parted as he walked through them. He was a hero and a bright future lay in front of him.

As he merged with Aapo, he could see the dancing entrance of the worm hole. Tamio rose and entered the worm hole on the journey forward. There were no obstacles this time. There were no dark forces standing in his way. He merged with the dancing light and accelerated. It was his energy form that elongated and dove forward through the clouds, the dark ocean and the spray of waves. He woke up in Professor Matsumoto’s couch safe and sound, having travelled two thousand years in minutes.

Professor Matsumoto was silent. He was not expecting Tamio’s return. He simply nodded to himself in incomprehension. Tamio opened his eyes and smiled at the Professor. He was glad to be back. It was then that Tamio noticed the red blemish mark on the Professor’s forehead. “What’s that?” Tamio asked the professor as he got up slowly from the doctor’s consulting couch. The red blemish on the forehead was a birthmark, a condition known as ‘Nevus Flammeus’; but how did it get there? Tamio was curious.

Professor Matsumoto ignored the question and returned to his work table. “Come back for a checkup tomorrow in the evening. We are done today.” The professor seemed very far away.

"Arigato-gozaimasu," Tamio bowed several times, thanking the professor. He was really grateful. A great burden had been lifted from his head. He felt the spirits of Mount Fuji all around him. He felt the effects of positive energy surging into him. He had not felt like this for a long time.

Tamio didn’t know whether he was happy or sad. It was a strange feeling this. A burden of many lifetimes had been erased, gone away with the rush of time, of strange images, places and feelings. Many lives had separated and merged back into one again. Tamio headed for the train station through the evening crowd returning home from work. He pulled out his wallet to buy a train ticket. There was no money in there. He was sure that he had put in a significant amount of cash into it that morning. Now, all the money was gone. “To hell with it,” he thought. “I’ve never been happier.” He felt light on his feet. He started to walk. His walk turned to a gentle run. He ran faster and faster through the park. He wanted to tell Eiko everything that he had experienced. His entire perspective and belief in life had changed. Only she would understand and believe the unbelievable.

Professor Matsumoto copiously made his notes. It was a triumph. The Society of Psychiatry would listen to him spellbound. Fame and fortune was at his fingertips. His hands shook as he quietly opened his desk drawer and brought out a bundle of yen notes and a gold pen. They were Tamio’s. A great urge to steal had overtaken him as he had watched Tamio on the couch, dead to this world. He was helpless. A strange force had started overtaking him and he had not been able to stop himself. The kami-spirits of Mount Fujiyama were all around him dancing the death dance over the erupting volcano and the ghosts of the past rose from the burning embers.