"Loneliness is the cold wind biting at my skin......." |
The depths in which I have fallen seem almost unreal. Nothing in my life could have ever prepared me for what I have faced and all I'm facing now. Loneliness in it's truest form is nothing like being bored, unlike seeking out company to dull the dullness no that is nothing like this. Understanding all people to talk to have left you and there is nobody around. No one to call. Not those considered close or anyone long distance, nobody at all. Loneliness is the cold wind biting at my skin. It's the unfamiliar noises in the darkness rhythmically reminding me that I'm out here alone. No one to let me in, all on my own. Loneliness. It's the ball in my stomach the lump in my throat, the bitter chill in my fingertips as I write this note. Ghosts in the breeze and demons in the shadows with witches laughing in the distance. Loneliness gives this normal neighborhood an eerie evil sound. Unshakable unseen eyes I can feel upon me, with the notion somethings watching my each and every motion. When I speak out "Who's there?" I'm answered only by deafening sinister silence. My world has gone from bleak to black. I've watched it change. Witnessed the unfolding, reshaping, remolding of what has become my reality undone. And allow it I did. Like a coward I stood still while it was all swallowed whole then I followed with an empty soul. I tied the noose. I sharpened the blade. I pulled the pin. My finger on the trigger. Talked myself onto the ledge and with my own hands pushed. Shoved into nothingness. Into the depths of Loneliness. |