Gone, but You will Never be Forgotten!

   

Gone, but You will Never be Forgotten!

The first time we met was in March 2017. I was very impressed with you. I had been very sick and looking for a new doctor. Being new in town and not knowing anyone made it difficult to get recommendations. Traveling back and forth to my original doctor was becoming expensive, and I had lost confidence in her. Having multiple auto-immune diseases makes it very difficult to find a doctor who cares and listens to their patient’s concerns about their bodies.

They were building a new office on the edge of town, and when the new sign went up announcing the new arrival of a medical clinic, I knew it was a Godsend. I waited patiently for the opening so that I could schedule an appointment as soon as possible. Being one of your first patients to arrive in the first week, I had my choice between a male doctor or a female one. I choose you, Nurse Practioner, Amber. You were a young 37-year-old who had high hopes and dreams of making a difference in her patient’s lives.

You impressed me so much that I knew that you were the right doctor for me. Amber, you listened to every word and concern that I had, and the list was long. You devised a plan for my care and scheduled appointments to get some answers on what no other doctor had attempted before. You ran some blood tests, an MRI, mammogram, etc. You were bound and determined to get answers for me, including scheduling appointments with the Specialist for more testing.

That gave me the hope I needed, where no other doctor had tried in ten years. I knew that you would make headway in my health care because you cared about me. It was amazing to have a doctor who listened to me and did not roll their eyes at me every time they saw me. Which was a lot that first year, and we made headway in my care. You got me on the right medications and worked with me on a diet to help get my allergies under control—a very long hard road in finding what triggered them.

I was so wrapped up in my world trying to get those food allergies under control that I missed you getting sick. I had no idea that the last time I saw you at the beginning of March 2020 would be the last. You walked in the room bright and cheery as usual. You wore a mask that day. I figured later it was due to the pandemic that just broke out. I had no idea that you had been diagnosed with breast cancer 14 months prior. It’s hard to imagine your doctor being sick. Although I was shocked to find out, I do know that it happens. Most of all, you had been fighting breast cancer since January 2019 and worked to continue and provide excellent medical care for your patients through it all. The dedication to those in your care never seized once.

As usual, you ran the routine test, and you scheduled me for others for later that week. You hugged me goodbye and told me to take care, like so many times before. When the test results came in, you had a new medication for me. Concerns in your voice told me that you were worried. I was to return in 3 months to have new labs taken to see how the new medication worked as per your advice. It was July 9, 2020, a day I will never forget, my dear friend. When I arrived at the doctor’s office that day, it didn’t feel right to me. I saw Doctor Davis, and he was reserved and quiet. All of the staff were. I didn’t ask them directly where you were but inquired about what you wanted me to do about the medication. No-one told me that you had died that very day.

When the test results came back, they instructed me what to do. Still, they never told me that you were gone. When I called back in early September to schedule my next appointment with you, they had told me that you had passed away in July. The line went silent on my end, and I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. My brain couldn’t wrap around the idea of what was just said. I asked her what she had said, and she repeated it once again. I started crying uncontrollably and could not answer her questions.

It kept ringing in my ears that you had passed away, and I would never see that beautiful face of yours again or hear you tell me that we will find out the answers. Then I felt guilty that you were no longer here with your family, your two beautiful daughters, and your husband. How could I miss that you were ill and hadn’t been there? We all get wrapped up in our own lives that we don’t miss others until it’s too late. The pain shot through my heart once again, like the arrow through an apple.

The loss they must have with you no longer with them. I can imagine that loss because I, too, had lost my momma when I was younger. They didn’t have enough time with you as they should have. The fight you had was short, not long enough for them or you. I know that you put up a good fight because you never gave up on anything.

I can imagine that you are telling me right now to schedule my mammogram that I am late. “Why are you waiting on scheduling it? You know that it has to be done, so getter done, girl. Plan it asap, got it? Listen, I noticed a lump, and I didn’t get it checked for 3 months due to my busy lifestyle—every second counts when it comes to breast cancer. I wasn’t supposed to get breast cancer, perfect health, no medications, I ran 3 miles per day, and every doctor that laid eyes on me couldn’t figure out why I was sick. There is a brand new 3D mammogram bus coming to our clinic in the last part of October or the first of November to screen women for breast cancer. I want you to schedule an appointment to be screened, got it?” “Yes, ma’am!”

I love you, Ms. Amber, and you will be sorely missed and loved beyond measure by all who knew you. Without a doubt, you were the rock for your patients and the hope that their care was important to you. I know that I was important to you, and it showed in the care you gave me. Thank you for being You and caring so much for others. That is what made you very special in the eyes of your patients, especially this one.

You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten in the hearts of your loved ones and your patients.

Notes ▼

I dedicate this to my sweet, loving doctor N.P. Amber, to protect her privacy and her families, I will not mention her last name. She cared for her patients, even during her illness. She fought to the end like no-one I’ve ever known. Amber loved and cared for all of her patients and was so thankful for the time she had to take care of them all!!

Entered in "Breast Cancer Awareness Contest" 
Word count: 1254
Prompt: October Breast Cancer Awareness Month