Aunt Kristian Visits Relatives

Aunt Kristian Visits Relatives

By Shadowgate
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Kristian Banner took her six-year-old son Kevin on a trip to see relatives. She did not know this two-week trip to Birmingham Alabama would look like the Goddamn Civil War all over again.

3:05 PM

Angela Lee was walking slowly through her neighborhood when her neighbor Jim Badge called "Angela Lee is that you in that pink dress?"

Angela answered "why yes and I wanted to look nice for company."

Jim asked, "who's coming over?"

Angela answered, "my sister and nephew are flying in from Denver Colorado."

Jim said "well that's great. I hope you enjoy your company."

Angela went on to say "my kids better behave when the company gets here or I'll get the belt."

Jim let off a “yee haw” and drank his beer bottle.

Angela walked home and 45 minutes later Kristin and Kevin were dropped off at her place by an uber driver.

They got out of the car and hugged. They were so happy to see each other. Kevin yelled "it's great to be in Alabama" and he waved a Confederate Flag he got at the airport gift shop.

Kristian told Keving not to wave that flag out front where everyone could see it.

Angela's two sons Mark 12 and Forest 8 came out to give hugs.

The uber driver helped with the luggage.

Mark and Forest escorted Kevin to the living room where they began playing PlayStation.

When it was time for dinner Kristian was chopping up vegetables. Kevin said "I'm hungry mom” then hopped on the counter.
Kristian said "I know you're hungry but dinner isn't ready yet."

Mark said "pretend that you're food."

Kevin replied "pretend that I'm food, what?"

Mark insisted "yes it's easy and fun. You lie on the counter like you're doing and you pretend mom is using that big kitchen knife to cut open your belly."

Kevin screams then picks up a crème pie and puts it right in his mother’s face.

After that he yelled “it’s not nice to stab people mommy!”

Mark and Forest laughed so loud that Angela rushed into the kitchen and saw Kristin’s face covered by a pie.

Angela yelled "what happened here?"


Kristian answered "Kevin was lying on the counter complaining that he was hungry. Then Mark suggested that he pretend he was a big fat pig and I was cutting open his belly with that big sharp knife right there and then he threw a pie in my face.”

Mark and Forest start laughing again.

Angela began yelling at Mark “that suggestion is violent and offensive. It’s not funny.”

Forest laughed harder and Angela yelled "do you think it's funny Forest?"

Forest quickly replied "not anymore."

After that they sat down to eat dinner. After dinner the kids played their videogames

There were no more problems for the rest of the night however Angela and Kristian were not happy to hear the kids giggling before they fell asleep.

The next day Kristian got Kevin dressed up in a suit and tie. She wanted to take pictures of him. Of course Mark and Forest had a different plan. They along with Kevin were in the backyard. Angela Lee came out to her backyard and said "oh Kevin I see you're all dressed up for the pictures your mom wants to take."
Kevin replied "I just wish she'd hurry up and get it over with. It's hot out here in this suit."

Angela told Kevin “it’s not that bad.”

Angela giggled and it was clear she was still half asleep due to a long night of chit chat with Kristin.

Angela still being half asleep took the bucket of water but asked "Forest what are you doing?"


Mark explained to his mother "we want you to throw that bucket of water on Kevin because it will be funny."

Kevin said "no don't do that."
Forest yelled "mom Kevin's on fire!"

Angela screamed "oh my god" and threw the bucket of water on Kevin.

Kevin screamed "I wasn’t on fire now I’m all wet” and he began crying.

Angela yelled "oh no” after his scream woke her up from her half-asleep state.

After Kristian heard Kevin scream she came out the back door and yelled at Kevin.

"Goddamn it Kevin why are you all wet? We are going to take pictures and you're fucking drenched. You ran through the sprinkler in your nice suit and tie!”

Kevin yelled "no I didn't!"

Angela yelled "Kristian wait a minute.”

Kristian continued cussing out loud where everyone in a 1,000-foot distance could hear her.

After 10 minutes Angela was finally able to explain that Mark and Forest handed her a bucket of water and they yelled Kevin was on fire. She explained she was half asleep so she fell for the prank.

Kristian was ready to cry.

Angela screamed at both Mark and Forest and told them they were grounded for the day.

After she sent her sons to their room she said to Kristin “my boys love to act up.”

THE END