Looking ahead or behind to find a new path after rehab, hoping I make a good choice. |
Closely Watched Trains I stand alone in blinding rain, waiting on an unknown train. My future life, a choice I must make. And only one I can take. Two tickets lay in my hand, don’t know where I should stand. One path leads to a familiar past. Comfort once lost; now peace might last. The other takes me far away. Unknown future, maybe a bright new day. Strangers can become friends. A new life, old wounds can mend. Last time I waited on a train, a filthy walkway, urine stains. Crying frightened, shameful tears, burdened with pain, unknown fears. The smut on me wouldn’t wash away. In pores so deep, I had to stay. If I hung in, worked the steps. A cluttered mess might bring me rest. Been running too long and fast, towards a certain fatal crash. Smoke the gin and drink the powder, Alice of Wonderland in troubled water. I did hard work, washed my worst stains. Princess in a castle, I glow now, no shame. I found answers for all asked of me, climbed the Magic Beanstalk tree. Now, I wait on my wish filled train. I pray a light shines true in dark rain. God, I have come a long, long way. I need to love myself enough to stay. By Kathie Stehr 32 lines |