Never wake a sleeping woman

“Wake up.” The groggy masculine voice bellowed from the end of a fourposter bed. It’s female occupant stirred, groaned, and then shifted irritably in her bed. “A good wife would have gotten up and had breakfast made!” The Rotund balding man bellowed. He stood there at the foot of the bed, his stained shirt having not been washed in weeks, and his underwear stained with all sorts.

The irritated, and exhausted woman stirred, her bloodshot eyes peering over the edge of the blankets. She was a petite little thing, almost weak looking in her big bed. “You have got to be kidding me, Charles!” She could not believe her husband would utter such things, especially first thing in the morning!

The man laughed in an unusually cruel manner. “I have errands to run, an eye exam today, just get your lazy oversized rump out of bed.”

The woman shrieked and fumbled in her blankets, reaching for something on the nightstand. As she sat bolt upright, fuming from his verbal onslaught. What sort of husband would treat his wife in such a way? Gripping the brick that kept their nightstand in some semblance of usable, she sat up and chucked the brick straight for his head.

Her husband groaned and toppled to the floor with agony as the corner hit him square in the left eye. He wailed and moaned, gripping at the ever-swelling peeper. “Good god woman you’ve lost you’re mind! I could go completely blind!

A smile curled the edges of the wife’s mouth as she leered at her injured husband. She sat up in bed and rested her back against the headboard, pretty as you please. “I guess you really do need to see the optometrist, now don’t you? Serves you right for waking a woman without coffee!”