before we were.

before we were something,
we were nothing.

maybe i was some rock in the middle of nowhere,
and maybe you were another rock waiting to be hit.

and space saw it fit,
so we collided.

then from nothing,
we became something.

maybe you were a vast body of water,
and i was some weird fish that crawled out from you-

and that's why i feel really lonesome,
when i'm not around you.

we were something,
but that was before we were anything.

maybe the flowers saw you, a dragonfly,
perched on me, a blade of grass;

and we were just too pretty together,
to be anything else.

so we became anything,
but that was before we were us.


before we were us,
i was probably a million different things,
trying to be me.

but you were always you.

before we were us,
i was probably a rock,
i was probably a weird fish.

and you've always been waiting to collide with me,
always been an ocean,
always been a dragonfly that the flowers loved.

before we were us,
you were you,
and i was something-

trying hard to be nothing.

before we were us,
i was probably a court document,
i was probably a punching bag.

and you've always been curly-haired and multi-colored in sight,
always been stubborn,
always been strong enough to stand against the hurricanes you came from.


what have i always been?

you say,
that i'm beautiful,
in the most confusing ways:

you dance with me,
even though i'm a rock.

you hold my hand,
even though i'm a weird fish.

you look at me,
even though i'm a blade of grass.

you say,
that i'm beautiful,
directly, sometimes.

i'm a court document,
i'm a punching bag,
i'm a dumpster fire of emotions.

i'm a dart player,
with bad aim,
my brain is a dictionary disguised as a dartboard.


but you say,
that i'm beautiful.

you,
with a million years behind your eyes,
with the creation of the stars in your head.

you,
probably know a thing or two about beauty.
besides, you look in a mirror every day.


so, -
maybe i am beautiful.

maybe you see stuff,
that i don't.

yeah, maybe i am some rock,
but maybe i'm granite or some shiny rock that glimmers.

and maybe i'm some weird fish,
but with the rainbow scales that shimmer in the water.

maybe i'm a blade of grass,
the kind you can always come back to and stand on.

and if i'm a court document,
well at least someone knows my name.

and if i'm a punching bag,
i can take all of it on the jaw for you.

and if i'm a dumpster fire,
or a bad dart player-

if i'm anything at all,
well, at least i'm something.


i'm absolutely tired of trying to be nothing.


and if you think that's beautiful,
then so it must be.

maybe i have always been,
before i was me.

i can't just be something,
i wasn't before.


maybe in tiny little ways,
when i was a million different things,
and when i was nothing at all,
i was always beautiful.

because, for once,
you make me feel like i'm worth more,
than the kindness i give away,
and the time i let someone else waste.

because, for once,
i can look at my reflection,
maybe reluctantly,
still my day isn't ruined.

because, for once,
i feel like i halfway deserve,
the love i recieve,
rather than the love i give away.

and you,
you make me feel beautiful,
as we are,
and before we were.