The Little Blond-haired Girl

. . . and I said, ‘Moo moo moo,’ and Mommy said, ‘Good! What does a chicken say?’ and I said, ‘Peep peep peep,’ just like a chicken. Mommy said, ‘Good! You sound just like a chicken, Janey!’

“What did your mommy do then? Did she go somewhere?”

She made me soup. She said it was a good day for soup. Cam bells chicken. MMM, MMM good.

“It is a good day for soup, Janie. Your mommy was right. Now, after that, did she go someplace?”

She didn’t like the storm. It was real dark and it it it was dark and rainy and the wind was woo, woo, woo, and I showed Mommy what the wind says and, and she said ‘Good!’ She said, ‘You sound just like the wind!’

“Look, Mike, why don’t you take a quick look-see outside, check the barn while I chat with little Miss Janie woo-woo here?”

“Will do. Should I call it in?”

“Give a quick peek into the barn first. Mom might be in there or just checking on the neighbor.”

“Someone called 911, Mike.”

You both have the same name?

“Okay, yeah, try to call it in. Maybe the radio’s working again. Then check the barn. Be careful.”

“How ‘bout the phone?”

“Phone’s dead.”

Why do you have the same name?

“I’m out of here.”

“Hurry back, man. Okay, so look, Janie, do you know where mommy went?”

But why do you have the same name?

“I don’t know, kid, we just do. Where’d your mother go?”

We heard the voice on the tv.

“You heard a voice on the tv?”

Mmmm hmm. That tv.

“That tv? The security monitor?”

‘Help me help me help me.’ My daddy said it sounded just like a little girl.

“Where is your daddy?”

He said the camera fell in the wind. That’s why we can’t see the little girl. He said he thinks a little girl is in the barn and mommy said, ‘No, no Hank, call the police.’

“Did he go into the barn?”

Mmm hmmm. And mommy got real mad and called the police and we waited and waited for my daddy and the police.

“Your daddy didn’t come back?”

Unn unn.

“Mike? Mike, hold on. Come on back to the house. Forget the barn. Come on back. We’re going to need some back-up, here.”

Is that a phone?

“Michael, do you copy?”

Why do you have a phone on your shirt?

“Yeah, kid, a radio, now listen to me, okay? Your mom went into the barn too?”

She said, ‘You be a good girl and wait right here.’ Do you think there’s a little girl in the barn?

“Mike, respond! Don’t go into the barn. Are you hearing me, asshole, do not go into the barn… Jesus Christ!”

You said a bad word.

“Yeah, I guess I did. Sorry kid, I think this radio’s out. Look, I’m going to be right back. You stay here, okay?

Okay, Mike. Should I be a good girl?

“Yes, be a good girl. I’ll—”

Will do, Mike. I’ll be a good little girl, but you probably should know, the other Mike’s standing right behind you.

“Woooow! Jesus, partner! Didn’t see you. You okay? You don’t look so good. What the fuck you doin,’ man?”

“Three dead in the barn. Male, female, and a little girl.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. Put the gun away, Mike!”

"They're all three Mexicans, man. Why isn't she Mexican?"

Yeah, Mike, put the fucking gun away!

“They got no eyes, man!”

“Put the gun away, we'll figure this out...”

“I’ll put the gun away when you explain how can this little girl, suddenly be speaking like that.”

Mike looks like he wants to shoot me, Mike.

“Holster your gun, now!”

Yeah, Mike, holster your gun!

“Why's she speaking like an adult?”

You like, and the piggy goes oink, oink, oink better?

“Jesus fucking Christ!”

And the piggy says, ‘Jesus fucking Christ.’

“Michael! They were butchered, man. Someone took their eyes!”

Oh, you too, Mike? Now you’re both going to shoot me?

“We will if we have to, kid! How old are you?”

I’m just a little girl. You going to shoot a little blond-haired girl with great big blue eyes, Mike? There’s a lot of us, Mike. . .

“Holy Christ!”

“Let's back up… back up, slow, partner. Slow, slow…”

You piggies going to shoot all us cute little blond-haired girls? Huh, Mike? You think you can?

Oink! Oink! Oink! Oink!

Oink! Oink! Oink!

Oink! Oink!

Oink!


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