"Self Medication 2"

Give me a reason,
How did this begin?
What made you feel so compelled,
To take my world, of which, you held,
Tainting its stability with your sin?
I need the answers to understand,
Was it a change of heart or was it a plan?,
Was it your intent to leave me for dead?
Did you wipe off the blood as it dripped from your hands?

I've driven myself to the brink of madness trying to piece it all together.
All that remains is the fact that you left me in ruins,
Left me in a bitter storm that cannot be weathered.

All I have to my name is a wicked sensation,
Slightly aroused due to pure mutilation,
Still no explanation for why I keep drowning myself,
Drowning myself in my self-medication.