Not This Time

Here I sit inside the dark
Short of tears and trembling
I think about the days gone by
Where I used to be so brilliant

One more sip, just keep it down
Cause life is for the worthy
Go back toward the numbness now
For the days of dreams have passed

When did I first seek out escape
I really don't remember
The pain and shame and all the blame
Now seem to blend as one

There are some moments of clarity
When I shout, "I can get back!"
But amidst felled trees and broken dreams
I rush back to the bottle