Chapter 3

Erfurt - Bindersleben
28 October 1943
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The journey to Erfurt seemed agonizingly short. As long as I was in motion, forced to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other my racing thoughts seemed to slow. Ernst hadn't spoken in hours, and I wasn't sure how to go about starting a conversation with him. His face looked sullen, and his eyes were distant and empty. I knew there were unimaginable thoughts racing through his mind.
By the time we finally arrived at Erfurt-Bindersleben Airdrome we were tired and hungry. An oberleutnant of the staffel that was based there offered us some cots in a quiet corner and some coffee if we wanted it. We turned down the cots but took him up on the coffee. He told us that by luck we had arrived in time to hitch a ride with a JU-52 heading back to Ansbach if we wanted. It would be leaving within the next fifteen minutes. Ernst would have to go from there on to Holzkirchen, which was very close to the Austrian border. His Zerstorergruppe was based there. Ansbach was in the opposite direction I needed to go but the oberleutnant told me that it would be fairly likely I could catch another flight back to my home base from there. I wanted to stay with Ernst as long as I could so I decided to take the flight. I would await my orders once I got back to Stendal, and they couldn't come soon enough. The airstrip was bustling with activity. Ernst and I walked between Bf109's that were parked in neat rows, some with the cowlings up and mechanics leaning far over into the engine compartment. Thier tools clanked against the metal inside as they turned bolts and fine tuned engine components. Suddenly loud cursing from one of the men near to us drew my attention and I didn't have time to react as a wrench came flying by my face and missed me by a total of what must've been a whole two centimeters. I felt the wind on my cheek and heard the whirling rush of air as it spun by like a propeller.
A superhuman anger began to build in me that lacked logical explanation. I reacted so quickly that I even surprised myself. I turned toward the man that had caused the commotion, a mechanic that stood quite a bit taller than me and whose overalls were dingy from the elbows to the knees. He was perched on a ladder at the engine compartment of a 109, cursing loudly at another mechanic who now held his hands up in front of his face in a defensive position. I felt Ernst's hand on my shoulder but I easily broke free of his relaxed grip. I grabbed the ladder with both my hands and threw it sideways, causing the big man's balance to waiver. He bent down quickly and grabbed the top stoop of the ladder to steady himself but it was too late. As he went down the big man's eyes fixed on me with a sudden realization that he was about to hit the ground and it was probably going to hurt, and that when and if he got up he was going to put a wrench through my skull and that would probably hurt too. Ladder and man toppled to the ground in a heap. I didn't give him time to get up. I jumped on him like a panther and the fight was on. The big angry mechanic held a wrench in his other hand too besides the one that had already been thrown. We rolled around in the grass exchanging punches, him landing more than me until he got enough clearance to swing that big wrench. I felt it come down on my back with such force that all my wind was knocked out, and as I paused for a moment to gasp for a breath I heard a crack as the metal met bone on the back of my head. Little white and red stars filled my vision and I rolled over on my back in the grass, hearing voices that sounded like they were talking in slow motion. My body didn't respond to the commands to get up that my brain was relaying. I felt someone grabbing my legs and under my arm pits but the foggy haze that still subdued complete consciousness prevented me from protesting. I heard a voice at my head demanding loudly..."Well, who in the hell is he?!!" The answer came back at my feet.
"He's my damn fool of a brother."
I began to laugh.

When I came to I was on a cot in a dark tent and I was suddenly aware of the dull ache in my back and my head. Ernst was lounging in a chair a few feet away, his hands crossed in his lap and his legs dangling over the side lightly dozing.
"Hey!" I said as I rolled over on the cot towards him. His head was lolled to the side and eyes opened lazily. He shook his head at me slowly and his leg which was suspended in air over the chair arm began to swing back and forth like a pendulum. "Don't look at me like that. I'm suffering enough as it is." I offered as I sat up slowly, grimacing and bringing my hand to rest where there was a dull, aching throbbing in the back of my head. My hair was rough and matted with blood.
"I thought that lick in the head had finally turned you goofy when you started that laughing."
"Did I do that?" I asked, not much remembering anything past pushing the mechanic off the ladder. Ernst's head bobbed up and down slowly. I smiled. "I'm fine."
"That's a matter of opinion. How many knocks in the head does it take before you come to that conclusion?" Normally, Ernst's sarcastic humor was followed by a jaunty grin. This time his face remained expressionless. The remark stung me when I realized he wasn't kidding. He stood up swiftly and walked to a table laid out with medical supplies, his back facing me. "They wanted to have you thrown in jail. I told them the ordeal we had been through in the last few days and it was the only thing that saved you. I did everything short of plead with them."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I was surprised by how wounded the tone of my voice was. Ernst's opinion meant everything to me, and when it was negative it stung.
"It means that your a grown man, Egon, not a boy...Besides that you're an officer. This isn't the schoolyard." His tone was stern.
"Come on, Ernst, it was just a fight...You know how...."
"No." He cut off my sentence abruptly. "It's not just a fight anymore. You're an officer now. There are consequences to all your actions that affect you and the people around you. How many blows to the head is it going to take to make you realize that?" His words burned me like a blowtorch, and I welled up with my usual defense under attack: by acting childishly defensive.
"I didn't see you jumping in to help."
"You should've noticed the wrench right off."
"How the hell would I have had time to notice?"
"That's what I'm talking about, Egon. You're always getting yourself in over your head and then needing me to step in to rescue you. What are you going to do when you get up there in the air and you have to fend for yourself?" I saw one man who was walking by the open tent flap several feet away turn his head towards us and lean back as he walked to peer inside.
"I'm going to go find somewhere to get some hot breakfast. When you're done acting like a fool you're welcome to join me." Ignoring my question he turned and disappeared through the open flap into the daylight outside. I heard the sound of a multi-engined aircraft sailing low over the airfield and as it droned further and further away I figured that it was the plane we were supposed to be on. I sat on the cot stewing, thinking of the things Ernst said, and knowing that he was right.

When I was done pouting, I walked the base looking for the mess hall and Ernst. I finally found it after asking half a dozen people on the far corner of the field behind some huts meant to house the pilots of the unit stationed there. When I went inside the crude tent I found him sitting at the head of a wooden table dipping his spoon into a bowl of something that was steaming hot. Beside him sat a second bowl with a spoon in it. He looked up as he heard me approaching but didn't say anything.
"That for me?" I asked, tipping up the bowl to inspect the oatmeal inside.
"No, it's for the guy behind you." Ernst motioned with his head and I instinctively turned around. There was no one there and I heard him laugh. "Of course it's for you, old man." I smiled as I felt my tension subside. When he called me old man all was well. I straddled the bench and began to eat. Suddenly, I remembered the letter I had put into my breast pocket the night before that I had yet to read. It was from my old friend, Klaus Mueller, who was now a paratrooper with the 6th Fallschirmjager Division.
"How long will we have to wait to get out of here?" I asked, hoping the mention of it wouldn't hit Ernst's nerve.
"Couple of hours." He answered seeming unaffected as he sopped up the last of his oatmeal by turning the bowl up to his mouth. "I think I may try to get a nap somewhere." He looked like he needed the rest. I doubted he had gotten a wink of sleep the night before. I suddenly felt a tinge of worry come over me for him. Worrying was always one of my specialties.
"Do you want me to come with you?" I asked, not sure what it would accomplish but feeling the need to ask.
"No, read your letter, I just want to sleep. Wake me up when the plane leaves, ok?"
"Alright." With that Ernst turned and walked slowly out towards the tent opening. Sleep would do him some good, but I vowed I was going to keep my eye on him more. I ripped into the envelope in front of me, unfolded the letter inside and began to read:

Obgft. Klaus Mueller
1./FJR 6
10 October 1943

Dear Egon,

Just now got the time to reply to your letter of 1 September! I've been busy with getting settled into my new unit. For now we are here in Munich awaiting deployment and drilling endlessly. There has been a lot of talk about where we will end up but one can only speculate. How is it being an army soldier you ask? Not too bad if you like jumping out of airplanes into the woods and carrying around your every possession on your back! Really though I like it just fine and am ready to get into the fight. No word yet on when that will be although there are a lot of rumors flying about. Most are talking about when the Americans will invade and where it will be. I'm sure when they do we'll be right there in the thick of it. Some speculation says we will be headed for the Ostfront to fight the Russians but I hope not. Its too damn cold! We do a lot of running and pushups. You know I used to be skinny as nothing, you should see me now! I've really put on the muscle from all this training. I miss home though sometimes, do you? Remember that day we went to see Ernst at Stormede? I was thinking about that the other day. That night before we left for training when we all sat around and drank beer and had some laughs is something I think about often. Remember the picture that was taken of us? Well, my sister finally sent me two copies and I've enclosed one for you. Delia sure looked pretty that night, and I can't believe how much bigger Theodor had gotten. Ernst is a lucky man. I hope we can all get together again soon and have a drink. I've made plenty of new friends here but they aren't you two! Speaking of new friends I've met a girl here in Munich that's really got me winging. She's really something, Egon. Almost makes me want to stay here in Munich and settle down instead of going to war! I'd love for us all to get together sometime, it would be just like old times. Maybe before we ship out you'll be up this way. I'll look forward to it. Tell me, have you got a girl yet? So how are you liking the air force? I'm sure you must have graduated by now. Tell Ernst I said hello. Any word on which unit you'll be with? Send me word if you can, I know it can be hard with the censors but keep me up to date. Until then be safe and write soon.

Your friend,
Klaus


There was no doubt Klaus had gotten word about the bombings by now. I wondered if his family had survived. I didn't hold out much hope. I said a silent prayer for them and wished I could be there with him when he found out the news. I had a few sheets of blank paper stowed away in my pocket, and felt sure someone would be willing to donate a stamp and an envelope.

Dear Friend,
It pains me to have to write a reply to your letter such as this, but I want to get word to you as soon as possible about the tragedy that has befallen us. Ernst and I are safe but we are the only ones of our family who survived the terrible bombing on Kassel on 22 October. I pray fervently that your family is safe and I will be anxiously awaiting word from you on how they are...

I stopped short, contemplating whether or not to describe the ordeal that Ernst and I encountered during the bombing but decided against it. It was nothing I wanted to recall or make someone else read about.

...Right now Ernst and I are in Erfurt trying to make our way back to our units. I hope you are well and your family also. If there is anything further I can help with please let me know.

Egon

Ernst and I headed out toward the tarmac when we heard the JU-52 running up its engines, and quickly climbed aboard. When we took our seats, we saw only one other occupant. He smiled broadly when he saw us and scooted nearer with his hand extended. He looked older than either of us, with a round face and squinty dark eyes, but friendly. The Knight's Cross was cinched neatly around his neck and his uniform carried the markings of a captain.
"Gentlemen, may I make the pleasure of your aquaintence?" He said as he stood in the aisle for a moment. Ernst was in the aisle seat, and he extended his hand graciously.
"I am Oberleutnant Ernst Schroeder, and this is my Papa." Ernst said motioning toward me. I smiled, glad to hear him making jokes.
"Leutnant Egon Schroeder." I said as I gripped the captain's hand. He looked at me and then back at Ernst. "Brothers." I said, answering his silent question. He nodded and smiled in recognition.
"I am pleased to make the aquaintence of the brothers Schroeder. I am Hauptman Tobias Hofmann." Tobias Hofman took the seat across the aisle from us just as we felt the airplane begin to move out onto the taxiway. "What units are you with?"
"I'm supposed to report to JG 54 in two weeks." I answered. I looked over at Ernst who's head was already dropped down towards his chest and his eyes closed. He wasn't in the mood to jaw I guess. I answered for him. "Ernst is with ZG 76."
"I see. Haven't seen any combat yet?"
"Not yet."
"Don't worry yourself, you'll see it soon enough. The Greenhearts are a very elite unit. I was with them for a time. That's where I got this." Hauptmann Hofman said motioning toward his Knight's Cross at his throat. His eyes lit up at the mention of it. Like most decorated German pilots he reveled in the opportunity to bask in his accomplishment. "You'll be flying alongside Walter Nowotny, you know."
"Everyone keeps saying that, but I'm not sure if I ever will." I answered sounding a little disheartened. It must've showed in my voice, he laughed a little bit.
"I've seen dozens of new growths like you...You think you'll never get in the war, but you don't have to worry about that. The war will find you soon enough, and by that time you might be singing a different song." He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered me one. I gladly accepted and he struck a match with his thumb and lit his then mine.
"So where are you assigned to now?" I asked as I exhaled a thin cloud of smoke. Hpt. Hofman smiled a bit as he propped his foot up on his knee.
"I'm on a special assignment for the time being, but I hope to be back at the front lines soon." A special assignment. My curiosity was aroused.
"What kind of special assignment?....Or is it the kind you can't talk about?"
"Actually, it's quite the opposite. I'm making a tour of airdromes by order of the fuehrer to collect a list of names of pilots who are interested in joining a bomber killer group. It will be one of the Luftwaffe's most elite groups, and the first of it's kind."
"Bomber killer." I repeated. Those two words caught my attention for obvious reasons.
"Yes. Unfortunately I am not being met with much enthusiasm amongst the pilots. They believe it is a foolish idea. Can you imagine thier enthusiasm at attacking formations of Flying Fortresses?" The Hauptman's voice dropped a bit. I felt the compulsion to know more.
"Tell me more."
"No doubt you've seen the destruction that the massive bombing raids are inflicting..." I turned my eyes towards the floor, feeling the sting as I recalled the events.
"Our family was killed in the raid on Kassel." I said and watched his face turn a little more solemn.
"Let me offer you my condolences. That's a story I hear too much these days." We were both silent for a minute. "The bombings are only going to get worse you know. Not only do we have the Royal Air Force to contend with, now we have the Americans. They're going to bomb our cities to dust if we don't do something. The hardest part of this war is coming, I'm afraid." The Hauptman leaned back and crossed his arms. "You know, all of us here took an oath to fight and die for the Fatherland and to protect our families. Now our families aren't even safe in thier own homes." It was true, but not pleasant to think about. Images of mama and Delia and little Theodor came back to me, smiling and laughing. It felt as though we had just left them again to go back to the war, and they were waiting at home. Their deaths were much too fresh to actually feel as though they were gone forever. Thoughts of Heinz were also hard to push away, although he'd been dead long enough for me to realize he wasn't coming back. I thought of how proud he was when he wrote us home about being assigned to the Bismarck, the largest warship in the world. He'd talked about her in paragraph after paragraph and how magnificent she was. Inevitably my thoughts turned to how he must've felt when the mighty warship's back was broken, and how he'd met his end as she met hers. Did he go quickly from the blast of one of the torpedos? Did he go slowly with enough time to realize he was going to die before it happened?
"You look like you could use this more than me." Hauptman Hofman said, startling me back into the present. I was glad he did before my thoughts wandered any farther on the path they were taking. He was holding out a silver flask, undoubtedly filled with spirits of some sort. Drinking was something I'd never done much, even though my comrades used it in large quantities. This time, however I took the flask and drank down the schnapp's inside. It was warm and sweet as it went down, but the look on my face as I handed the flask back told the Hauptman that I wasn't accustomed to my liquor. He laughed a bit. "You remind me of my youngest brother, Bernhard. He's on a U-boat."
"That's an assignment I doubt I could stomach. I like to be above the waves not below them."
"I agree. He loves it though, says he wants to captain one of those tin cans one day." The plane lurched as we hit some turbulence, and Ernst shifted his position.
"My brother was kriegsmarine too."
"Oh? What ship is he on?" Undoubtedly the Hauptman had missed that I'd said he "was".
"He went down on the Bismarck." I answered as I felt the schnapp's warming my veins and relaxing my muscles.
"A tradgedy." Sig pulled heavily on his cigarette before he threw it to the floor and snubbed it out with his toe. "I've heard your other brother, Ernst's name in some very elite circles. He's quite a pilot so I understand."
"The best."
"Do you think he might be interested in the special assignment that I mentioned to you earlier?" I didn't even have to think about it twice.
"I'm certain he would be. Just tell me what we need to do and I'll talk it over with him when we touch down."
"Well, you will be interviewed by the officer in charge of the assignment along with the rest of the volunteers for suitability. I have some business to tend to in Ansbach and from there I'll be boarding another JU-52 bound for Berlin to take the list of volunteers to headquarters. You're welcome to accompany me. You'll be put up in a nice hotel once we get there. It will take some time to transport in all the pilots being interviewed from thier airfields so there will be at least a week or two of down time. You can enjoy yourselves and rest some in that time. With the ordeal you've been through I'm sure some rest is in order. I will send the necesary wires to your unit CO's."
I'd never been to Berlin, and the thought of exploring somewhere new with so much going on perked up my curiosity.
"We need pilots like you and Ernst who will be willing to do whatever it takes. This will be the most hazardous job in the Luftwaffe." The Hauptman added, as if he hadn't already convinced me. It wasn't the glory I was concerned with. Maybe a year ago the thought of being a decorated flyer in an elite unit would have been enough to make me put my name to the dotted line. Now I had a different motivation. Here was our chance to avenge our families' death, and to protect our home from certain destruction. I glanced back over at Ernst who was slumped over on the bench with his arms crossed and cap covering his eyes.
"You can count us in." I answered.