just feelings

okay, so my boyfriend, were gonna call him alex, its not his real name, but anyway... he means the world to me, like were so great together, we play minecraft together, we call a lot, were jut puuuurfect for each other.... but then there is another guy, were gonna call him mark (obvi not his real name) we talked all the time, i printed off a picture of him, i wrote a poem about him, and many paragraphs to him, i am very in love with him... but there is also alex, hes everything ive wanted for a very long time. i know that there is polyamoury, but i dont think theyre okay with that, they hate each other, and i love them both... im still very confused about how i feel towards them both... i love them, im just not sure if its romantically for both of them... im having a really hard time figuring out how they feel. mark is really distant sometimes, and he lives in another country... and alex is so sweet and open about his feelings, i love them both so much, to the point where i dont want to hurt either of them.. and i feel as though i hurt one of them already... mark is so.. so amazing, but so is alex.

alex is my boyfriend currently, but it is going to change, were not sure how we feel, as in we.. i have many personalities... fynn, ghost, axel, bexx, roze, mel, piper, heaven, gwyn, and many more.... alex knows all of them, and he loves them all equally... but even thiough mark knows only fynn, i love him so much.. like we all do, just as much as we love alex. i think they're both amazing.. i really dont want to choose, but i know that i have to sooner or later, but im going to have to do it sooner so we all can figure it out...

i cant breath around mark- because when he says my name he says it in a way that makes me feel loved... alex is more like a brother to me.. i know that it hurts to be told that, belive me i do... i just- i really am truly in love with mark..