The Little Masketeer

Dialog- 500 Contest Entry. Prompt: You have to explain to little Billy why he must always wear a mask at school.

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“Listen Billy, you need to wear your mask at school today.”

“Why Daddy?”

“To keep you safe from Covid-Nineteen,”

“Is Covid at my school?”

“It might be.”

“Then why are you sending me? Am I being punished for something?”

“No, but you have to go to school. The mask will protect you.”

“If Covid comes up to me and goes: “I’m here to virus you." I’ll go; “I’d like to see you try.”and it’ll go.“You know someone that’s gunna stop me?” and then I’ll open a can of whip-ass on it.”

“You need to take this seriously. We are talking about a deadly illness, that is highly contagious.”

“Con-tay-jus?”

"It spreads from one person to another. If you caught it, you might pass it onto Mummy, me and your little sister. Maybe even Gizmo.”

“Teddy bears don’t get vira-scissors. I like looked it up, on the internet. How does a mask stop Covid?”

“Think of the virus as an air force of invisible germs, spreading from one person to the other; by way of speaking, coughing and sneezing."

“What about farting? Do I need a mask on my bottom?”

“No, that's already masked by your underwear. You have things inside your body called antibodies. They protect you from diseases and viruses. Covid’s air-force might be too powerful for your antibodies, and you’ll end up getting very sick.”

“What about me uncle-bodies.”

“Not even them.”

“If I caught Covid, would I still have to go to school?”

“No, you’d be far too sick. You would probably be in the hospital.”

“If Covid makes you too sick to go to school, then no one at my school would have it. Why bother with the mask?”

“Another pupil might already have it, and that kid’s parents aren’t aware. It takes time for the symptoms to show.”

“Such as?”

“Tiredness, a dry cough and a fever,”

“Um, maybe I shouldn’t go to school today; just in case I have Covid.”

“You’re going to school today, Billy. You can cry until the cows come home, but that is all there is to it.”

“When are the moo-cows coming home, Daddy? When did they leave? Where did they go?”

“Billy!”

“Okay, I’ll go to that dumb school, and wear the stupid mask.”

“That’s a good boy. Now, if, for whatever reason you start feeling sick, I want you to promise me you’ll tell your teacher as soon as possible. It’s very important that you do.”

“Okay, I promise…um Daddy, If I wear my mask all day at school, and tell the teacher if I’m feeling sick, can I have ice-cream on my dessert tonight?”

“Only if you agree to an early night, without any dessert, if you don’t.”

“Fair’s enough, I guess.”

“It’s getting late Billy. You’d best put on your mask, and head off to school.”

“Love ya heaps; Daddy, with the ice cream.”

“Love ya too Billy; my well rested son, with the empty tummy.”

-Ends-