Guilt

Everything’s shifting,
and sliding out of place.
The world won’t stop skipping,
inside my headspace.

This guilt and remorse,
has broken me down.
I’m stuck in one place,
as I phase around.

I’m sorry, I’m not,
fuck it I’m both.
There’s no moving forward,
if there is no growth.

I hate you, I love you,
it’s all double you see.
Psychotic episodes,
are now what define me.

So look at me now,
and tell me what you see.
How many of me,
do you think there should be?

The masks fall away,
but the guilt still remains.
I can never stop shifting,
holding in all this pain.

I’m rearranging pieces,
while others slough away.
Trying to transform myself,
but the pieces won’t stay.

So I’ll live with this guilt,
as pieces of me die.
Too weak to regret,
and too stubborn to cry.

I’m trapped in a nightmare,
that I helped create.
Slowly eating my essence,
and choking on hate.